Is it wrong to be angry???

This year I knew we weren't going to see Nigel that much and I understood this and knew it.

But he was away for Mother's Day and I got nothing that day apart from grumpy children.

I was just reading his term plan (to find out when he is back this week) and I see that he has leave for Father's day (which is cool), but is going to be on an Exercise for my birthday.

I am really gutted that the 2 things that are special for me I don't get him to be here with me, the boys don't fully understand what this means to me.

I am probably just all emotional as AF is here, but this has just realy got to me.

Why don't you suggest to him that you and him celebrate your birthday a little earlier (before he leaves), maybe go and stay in Taupo for the night and get the IL's to babysit?

We would be best to wait till he gets back as he is away for pretty much all of October.

Not a silly idea, we could actually go down to Palmy and the in laws could have the boys for the night while we went somewhere else.Would be a weekday as well so cheaper.

And I know it isn't his fault, just his stupid employer

I get angry too, but unfortunately its very very usual. I suggest you get used to having birthdays etc missed from now on Not cool but hey they choose it and the army is the least family friendly out of all forces.

DH has missed all anniversaries except for this one, most of my bdays, most of his bdays since we've been together, only one Christmas though which is good (although will miss next one and was supposed to miss last one), almost missed Jack's birth, might miss #2's birth or first Xmas, and wait for it... almost missed our wedding!

I guess a lot of it comes with the territory but maybe it's time to sit down together and say, hey we've done really well this year with all the extra pressures etc and it's probably about time we at least went out for dinner, just the two of us.

I get annoyed and DH is only in the airforce which is the most family friendly of the services.
It can be very disruptive to our lives, but I can assure you it is worth it. DH has been in 12 years now and I've been with him for 8 of those, he loves what he does and gets to do some interesting and exciting things.
He being in the services has put a pretty nice roof over our heads, and gives us a lot of extras. Like the gym, pool etc.

So yeah its sucks some times, but its also how it is. I've learn't not to too many plans too far in advance as they'll no doubt change and I'll get pi$$ed off.