I am so upset (rant)

  I went to the doctor yesterday as both boy's have had a constant cold for about 2 month's alan has been pulling on and complaining about his ear and Mikey has had really yucky runny nose.   I saw this doctor who was so mean she made me feel like a paranoid Mummy comment's like"dont' know what Mum is on about the boy's are in perfect health"   Then she informed me that she has a 20 month old who has never been to the doctor.  Like I needed to know that.  She then told  me that I can't befeedign them the right food that is why they are sick.  This is after she told me there was nothing wrong.  She never addressed the fact that Mikey had been throwing up and off his food.  And then made a huige fuss abouth the nit's and how she needed to itch when I told.  That is fine, but after all she had said it jsut made me feel even worse.  She then precribed something for the nit's that needed to be left in for 12 hour's ithout him touch his head or getting it in his eyes.  Then when we were leaving she forgot to give us the darn script and we had to wait till she had finished with the her next pacitent.  And I could hear her still going on about the nit's as she came out of the room to give us the script.  She made me feel so small the whole time i was in there.  I have calmed down now,  but yesaterday  was a diffent story.   I thight maybe I was over reacting cause I had had a bad day, but I talked to DH (who was there as well) he totally agreeded with me.  I can't believe she feel's she is in such a place to make me feel so small and stupid.

Oh and we now know why Mikey as not been well he has just popped abig tooth which no doubt she would have seen when she looke in his mouth.

what a cow. just because someone is a doctor, doesn't give them the right to act all superior. and as for a 20month old never going to the doctor - well, technically it goes all the time as it's mother IS a doctor. so of course it doesn't need to go into a clinic. stupid woman (her of course not you)

was this a doc at an a and e and not your usual doc??? if so complain....

I have to say i find some of the immigrant docs the worst...esp asian female ones...they are so clueless...and i had to complain about one DH went and saw at ascot last year...her bedside manner and diagnosis left a lot to be desired!!! Complain about your treatment....that is so not on!

Write a complaint - no health professionals should talk to you like that. Dont be intimidated by the fact that she is a doctor, the cllinic needs to know about stuff like that.

Def write a complaint, if she was talking about another patient to a different patient she has broken the confidentiality agreement that dr's are meant to live by. The clinic mananger will act on it and if not write again till you do get a response.

Oooh that makes me so angry too! As a nurse I ALWAYS listen to parents, how the heck do we know if the child is behaving in its normal way or if things are the same or not? There's no excuse for doctors not to be the same!

The good news is that all health professionals are accountable for their practice, under the code of patient rights you have the right to be respected, and under the Health Practitioners Competence Assurance Act anyone can complain about a health professional. I would definately write a letter (the only letter I ever wrote after a bad experience I never got a reply to!) and if you have no reply then go in there and ask to see their manager, and if there is no manager and you feel brave enough talk to the doctor you saw. It is most frustrating when someone has a problem and they don't tell you - perhaps they aren't aware that their bedside manner is lacking, or they were having a particularly stressful day (even though I know that is no excuse!).

Talk about your feelings, how disrespected you felt and how you thought their behaviour was inappropriate (especially talking about health issues where everyone else can hear as they came out with the script). If you don't do anything now then someone else may end up bearing the same behaviour from them.

Bombshell wrote: was this a doc at an a and e and not your usual doc??? if so complain.... I have to say i find some of the immigrant docs the worst...esp asian female ones...they are so clueless...and i had to complain about one DH went and saw at ascot last year...her bedside manner and diagnosis left a lot to be desired!!! Complain about your treatment....that is so not on!

Funny thing about this is she was a kiwi doctor had seh been form oversea's i would have understood abit better.

She is not my GP i went into the walk in clinic and my doc surgery  Iam planning ot make an appointment with my doc next week.

There are a lot of working mums on this board, myself included, and I think we all need to be sensitive to the fact that mothers face many difficult issues and decisions with regards to whether they want to stay home full-time, work part-time and stay home part-time, work full-time, or any number of configurations of these options. Many mothers who work don't have a choice about the matter, and they are no less women OR mothers because they choose to work -- I don't think anyone would dispute that. Many women do have a choice about working, and make the choice to go back to work after having their children, for various reasons -- again, that does not make them "lesser women" or "lesser mothers". We don't know the circumstances of the doctor's childcare arrangements, and it's not fair to speculate on them. The issue here is that the doctor's handling of her patient's situation was inappropriate, and that is what loadsofkids is posting about. Let's try to give her options and creative solutions rather than taking sideswipes at the doctor's personal circumstances, because they are frankly irrelevant to the topic -- just like the doctor's mentioning her child was completely irrelevant to loadsofkids' situation, and should never have occurred. The moral of this cautionary tale: Stick to the topic!

Loadsofkids, I personally feel that your doctor behaved inappropriately, and that you have every right to be upset at the way you were treated. I think it would be totally appropriate for you to write a letter to the practice explaining how you don't appreciate being treated in this manner, and that you expect an apology in writing from the doctor or you will take the matter further. She should never have mentioned her own child's experience in relation to your child's situation, because it is completely irrelevant. Every child is different, and as a doctor, she should understand that her job is to ensure your children's health, not belittle your parenting skills.

Besides that, I would definitely consider seeing another doctor next time. Is there another practice in the area that you could switch to? Is there another doctor at the practice that you could visit instead? You deserve to be listened to and have your concerns addressed, not made to feel paranoid and stupid. Hang in there -- your feelings are legitimate! 

Bombshell wrote: verity wrote: i feel sorry for her, that she has a 20mth old and obvisouly doesn't stay at home and care for her kids, no wonder it's never been sick, she probably fills it up on drugs all the time..... sounds like a jealous cow who probably had kids as an accessory!!! Your a mother, you know when your kids are off, you are with them 24/! This kind of comment totally annoys me - there are plenty of us on here that work and chose to do so and that sort of comment was totally unwarranted and uncalled for!!! We are no less mothers for working!!! our children are NOT accessories!!! I def dont think this is the sort of forum where comments like that are necessary!

I don't actually see how that could be offensive to you? The way I read it was that verity was trying to make Deb (it's Deb, right? sorry if that's not your name) feel better, I don't think she was saying that all mums who work are bad mums..bit of a misunderstanding, I think.

i would complain, she had no right to treat you like that.
you did the right thing by your children in taking them into the docs cause they werent well so why should you be criticised or treated like a paranoid mother, if anything i think it makes you sound like a wonderful mother who cares about her childrens health and well being.

i have to say i take my hat off to you working mums, you work all day and then come home to a family.
ive made the decision to go back to work in another 4 - 6 months, ive had my babies now and have had over 2yrs off work so thats long enough for me