Need to have a cry :(

My Granny passed away suddenly last Friday and the funeral is tomorrow. I'm really having a hard time coming to terms with it all. She was reasonably fit and still in her own home - I just didn't think it would happen yet. My grief is coming in waves and sometimes I'm fine but then other times I just feel a bit overwhelmed, and that's generally followed by me getting kinda distracted and the kids mucking around and then I snap at them

Today I'm trying to make sure the dishes and washing are up to date (Only one more load to do of each plus heaps of folding) and I thought it would help for tomorrow if I could half-pack. (We leave by 11am tomorrow so still a lot of time but I don't like leaving everything to the last minute if I can help it.) But it's a big week and this afternoon I'm meeting with my MIL and SIL to discuss FIL's 50th birthday celebrations on Saturday night (it's a surprise party) and on Friday afternoon/evening two of his sisters are coming to stay at our place until Sunday. (They are in Auck.) One of them is a little bit crazy but the other is a minister's wife so hopefully she will help lol. (We are the only ones of their family with room to put them up - even floor space - but we've said we can only do two days and they are going to stay at Backpacker's for the Sunday night.)

My granny is the second oldest in the family. She's survived by an older brother and a younger brother, whom I've met but don't know well since one lives in Auckland (I've only been to Auck three times) and one in Canada. One of my great-aunts (by marriage) sent through an email the other day with a bit of tribute, I guess it will probably be read at the funeral since they are too old to travel down (both my great-uncles are in rest homes as of the last 2 years). She put down some things that I didn't even know about my granny, like because she was born with a hole in her heart she wasn't actually supposed to have children (she had 4, but one was my dad's twin sister who died in her first week, they were 3lb prem). And now she has 16 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren Also her mum was anti-operations and didn't want Granny to have heart surgery but after she died the doctors managed to convince Granny (who was then 40 I think) to undergo the operation, which she did with success but then on the afternoon she got back from that her husband died. I didn't know that either.

Granny was our big link with the family. She would forward us updates from the Auckland/Canada families and even between the Palmy/Waikanae cousins when we left home and started families/got married. She housed the family christening gown and in so doing, made it to all of the grandchildren's dedication ceremonies. We could ask her anything about her parents and her husband (all of whom died well before we were born) and I really felt that she linked us with them somehow.

Now she's gone and there will be a big family gathering tomorrow, which I'm desperately trying to prepare for (food, clothes, all the baby/child type stuff that you NEED even when you go away for a single day). And right now I'm just feeling so very 'low' about it all. Tomorrow's not that far away and I think that's why it has hit me again today (yesterday I was fine - go figure ).

Thanks everyone, just needed to get that load off and cry a bit.

I am so sorry about your Grandma, Is there any way you could just go outside and have amoment to your self or can be alone to gather you thought or reflect?
xxx If you ever need to talk you know where I am !

to you and your family today.

BIG BIG Hugs Teresa....

Sorry to hear that busymum but even though it will be sad you will probably find lots to smile about and be proud of. I remember when my Nana died I was really upset at her funeral but afterwards I got to meet all her extended family who are fantastic (lost one, gained half adozen) and we all sat around and compared stories of her shocking driving (we had all been sworn to secrecy by her). We all ended up laughing and now I smile and laugh when I think of her.

awww teresa hun big hugs to you , I hope that you get through today and have the strength to get through tomorrow, My grandad passed away 3 years ago and I miss him like crazy if lived in Levin and I would make sure I went and saw him at least once a fornight and when Braedon was born I made the trip weekly he was so proud of him it was just nice to see, I am having a cry with you.

Big hugs Teresa, I hope getting it all out was cathartic. Best of luck with the funeral and with the impending onslaught of relatives. Try not to worry too much, the next few days will probably pass in a blur. And make sure that Chovynz is looking after you!

oh teresa i'm so sorry!

im so sorry for your loss teresa, my grandma passed away in march and i still miss her so much, my thoughts are with you xx