Author |
Topic Search Topic Options
|
Jennz
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Topic: Biting your tongue... Posted: 08 February 2008 at 12:32am |
or should it be fingertips??
I was just wondering how everyone goes about what they post when it comes to controversial topics.
There are 2 or 3 things that I feel very strongly about that come up quite often on here- usually when I read anything about them my mind starts racing and I come up with all these things I want to say. I used to try and word them a way that was nice, then I got over that and started being more 'honest' and now I just avoid them full stop as I can never word it in a way that won't offend people that is still true to how I feel.
I think there is a difference between intentions- if you're posting something to make someone feel bad about their decision or calling them names then obviously thats not a good place to be coming from. But what about when you feel like someone is making an uninformed decision so you post information to give them all the facts so they can make an informed decision. Often those facts won't support that decision, and in turn may make that person feel bad, or hurt, or guilty or (especially in the hormonal world of woman and parenting- where we're always feeling bad or hurt or guilty anyway)... so even though your intention was good- it still has the same affect. Often that makes people defensive which can turn things nasty.
So what do you do when its a controversial topic or something you feel strongly about? Do you post the first thing that comes to your head? Do you have immediate feelings then try and word it in a more PC way? Are you just totally honest and write whatever you feel, darn the consequences? Do you just accept what ever anyones decision is and support it regardless of how you feel? Or do you avoid it totally?
|
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
|
 |
Sponsored Links
|
|
 |
caraMel
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 5342
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 1:23am |
I can't say that anything truly close to my heart has ever gotten controversial on here though.
I do respect the people who have the guts to say what I'm often thinking but I can't really be bothered getting involved in online flamewars, if I don't really know the person I don't feel the need to argue my opinion with them.
ET correct bad late night spelling!
Edited by caraMel
|
Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
|
 |
kebakat
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Palmy North
Points: 10980
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:42am |
This happens to me sometimes. I just read it and then avoid it and not post. I know if I post I won't be able to word my thoughts properly without causing offence to someone and then seeing the fallout of other peoples thoughts in the past, it's just not worth it because I can't be bothered with a fight with someone online
|
 |
CuriousG
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Raumati South
Points: 1685
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:12am |
I agree - I have posted a couple of times on controversal topics but I feel that I got back lashed so I tend to avoid them now. However, it doesn't stop you wanting to type a reply and sometimes I do but dont actually post!
|
|
 |
AliaDawn
Senior Member
Joined: 11 January 2008
Location: Petone, Wellington
Points: 1205
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:20am |
I would completely avoid controversial subjects... I am pretty blunt, and I have to re-read and re-word stuff alot to not come across as nasty as opposed to just straight-forward... the internet is difficult like that.
|
|
 |
Jennz
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:26am |
Ah yes- I have definitely typed answers and then thought better of it and not posted them!
|
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
|
 |
Shezamumof3
Senior Member
Joined: 14 April 2007
Points: 10096
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:29am |
kebakat wrote:
This happens to me sometimes. I just read it and then avoid it and not post. I know if I post I won't be able to word my thoughts properly without causing offence to someone and then seeing the fallout of other peoples thoughts in the past, it's just not worth it because I can't be bothered with a fight with someone online |
Yeah I agree, Im the same.
|
|
 |
newmum
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 3546
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:32am |
I just don't post. Can't be bothered with the fall out! Some things get taken too personally on here...
Jenna- I CANNOT believe that Charlotte is almost 4! eek!
|
|
 |
Jennz
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:50am |
|
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
|
 |
Mazzy
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Waikato
Points: 1494
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 8:55am |
I jump in sometimes, but then often don't go back. I take my time to think about things, though, and often by the time I get around to posting my thoughts someone else has already said whatever I wanted to in a much better way or the thread has moved on and what I wanted to say isn't relevant anymore! I think it's good to have a few controversial threads, but only if they don't degenerate into a slanging match. There have been a couple where some good discussion has gone on, and no-one got offended. As soon as it turns nasty I'm outta there! Don't have the time or patience for that sort of stuff.
I think it's a shame that people don't post on those topics because often they are the ones that are the most enlightening/interesting. But I can understand why people don't.
Edited by Mazzy
|
Mum to two gorgeous girls!
|
 |
MummyFreckle
Senior Member
Joined: 08 February 2007
Location: Auckland
Points: 4120
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:03am |
I have to admit that there are things that wind me up sometimes, but I choose to ignore them. I dont have the energy to get into "arguements" with people on here....which is interesting as I am a very opinionated person IRL.
I think that sometimes there are people on here that "jump in boots and all" a bit quickly and althought their intentions are often good, I think it would pay for people to re-read their posts before they post them sometimes.....!
|
|
 |
fattartsrock
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 6441
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:10am |
I used to avoid but my new years resolution is say what you think. If you are on an online forum and asking for an opinion, as in real life, not everyone agrees. I get a bit annoyed with all the "sheep" like posts on here at times, not that I like conflict, but there never seems to be anyone post a differing opinion, and if they do, they get flamed for it. We are all adults, right? as in real life, you gotta take the good with the bad. My posting is not meant as a personal attack, but as my opinion, and not intended to offend, but I'm not following the sheep anymore!
Still luv ya's all, tho!
|
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
|
 |
kebakat
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Palmy North
Points: 10980
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:13am |
fattartsrock wrote:
I get a bit annoyed with all the "sheep" like posts on here at times, not that I like conflict, but there never seems to be anyone post a differing opinion, and if they do, they get flamed for it. |
I sometimes get annoyed by this also and I would voice my differing opinion if I didn't get flamed for it but I know I will so I keep it to myself rather than dealing with everyone ganging up on me for being different.
|
 |
fattartsrock
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 6441
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:16am |
I'm hearing Ya, Stacey, I'm hearing ya, but I've decided to suck it up, I'm almost 33 years old, and no longer care if people in an online community think I'm nice, lol!
Mind you, I will bite half of my tounge, as a compromise, so as not to make anyone cry... lol
|
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
|
 |
Aprilfools
Senior Member
Joined: 10 August 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 1361
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:17am |
There's nothing wrong with stating your opinion. It is afterall just an opinion.
I try and post my reply responding only to the person that originally posted and raised the issue. I try and avoid getting into the who's right or who's wrong side of things. It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it as is everyone else.
In saying that there have been topics that I haven't posted on because people have become rude or because the topic was too close to home and I'd rather keep out of it.
Don't take things personally and don't make them personal. I'd say post your opinion, we base our own decisions on the opinions and decisions we've observed in others don't we? If it contradicts what others have said that's fine too. Just don't single people out and remember that we're all entitled to our opinion and that's it's very easy to misinterpret what a person is saying.
And with that I hope everyone is having a very happy, sunny and opinionated Friday.
|
 |
kebakat
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Palmy North
Points: 10980
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:19am |
lol, I like to avoid conflict I guess and can't stand sl*gging matchs. I'll quite happily voice my opinion on msn or in real life though
|
 |
Jennz
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 1897
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:24am |
Lol I've noticed the sheep like mentality too, its actually what motivated me to start this thread. I wondered if I was on my lonesome when it came to strong minded opinions or whether others had also decided to ignore them for the sake of peace.
|
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
|
 |
Rachael21
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 4700
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 9:58am |
I can never word it right and I hate how people take things personally when you are just giving the facts. There is one particular subject that always gets me going cos people get this crazy ideas and post them. I feel like I have to say something or other people will read it and think its right.
|
 |
Rachael21
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 4700
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 10:00am |
I always think you word stuff so well Jen
|
 |
The_Stuarts
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 509
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 February 2008 at 10:28am |
For me I've found that the hard thing with posting (because there are no tones or inflections) is that I might mean something but a few replies later I realise people have interpreted it differently and now I've come across in a way that's not actually true.
Having said that I love adding my opinion to things so generally will put my 2 cents in (and be completely honest) but I don't think I've come across (or worse incited) anything too controversial yet.
|
|
 |