Question for SAHM’s

I always thought I would be back at work asap - 3 months even. It was a great surprise to discover that I didn't want to once LIly was here.

For me it is purely emotional. I have worked in early childhood so I know how great the care can be, I have no problems reccomending childcare to others and I have even conducted research into the importance of regular breaks from children as part of a high level university paper.

But I can't leave her. It is that simple. The very idea of someone else spending every day with ehr breaks my heart. I may have to return to work soon one day a week (and eventually will have to for some money) and I don't even want to think about it.

I just enjoyed it so much - still do - every day with Lily is a pleasure and even the bad ones are good. There are very few moments that I don't enjoy - event he screaming clinginess with teeth just makes me roll my eyes and cuddle her closer.

I am very surprised to find that I am so well suited to the role of SAHM. I consider myself a feminist and I am a SAHM who sews as a hobby and cooks. Still a feminist though.

I think a key to it though is how well you handle isolation. I am really happy with my own company and find the chat online on this and another forum are enough on the days that I don't hang out with adults.

if I neeeded more than that - as many people do - then I would probably look to work. But I am happy with me and my Lily.

i was also a preschool teacher and although as miss said there are benefits..for me i couldnt put him into fulltime care.. I couldnt miss his firsts as PP says..I've seen too many children who are so very attached to me because they spend so long in my care and we see their firsts.

also even though i could take my baby to work with me..i didnt want to..its not fair on the other kids..and although money is tight..we can *just* afford to have me at home and its important to both of us that one parent is home...DH wants it to be him but he earns way more than me and I would be gutted if i didnt get to be the main carer....i trust him 100% ..but its my job:)!

before i had him I thought I would be fine with leaving him but quickly realised I'm not..I have regular small breaks but for me personally..at least at the moment being at home with him is best for both of us.

We sat down and worked out how much better off we would be and it wasn't much, about $200-300 a month. We decided that the stress of getting to work/daycare on time wasn't worth the hastle and I also didn't want to leave Daniel.

I always thought I would be a SAHM, I never liked the idea of putting my child in daycare - nothing wrong with it for some people just not right for me. Although I had problems getting used to the idea that my entire life had changed once Jack was born, plus I liked my job, so when Jack was about 3mths old I asked if I could work from home part time. I realise now that it was a mistake (yes, has taken me about 7mths! ) as it put too much pressure on me. I have resigned now and am just working out my notice. Although on some bads days I wish I was back at work, those days as so few and far between. Plus I would miss all the amazing things that Jack learns how to do - still in the glow of seeing my baby start to crawl, not quite at the tearing my hair out stage when he just pulls the house apart!

I didn't really have much choice, I wasn't working before I had them and I have never worked so don't have any experience and would prob have a hard time getting a job that would make us any better off. I love being at home with the kids and it would break my heart having send them somewhere else most of their awake time.

On the other hand I'm looking at going into full time study next year so will have to put them in daycare. I'm a bit sad about putting Caprece in at 18 months (if it all goes to plan) but I know I've already had the most important time with her and I'm doing it to make our life better in the future.

It really is a hard one and a completely personal decision.

Id love to stay home BUT I earn enough to support our family and DH doesnt so at the end of my p/leave DH will resign and be a SAHD ... at least she will have one of us fulltime

When Grant and me got together and we talked about our future both of us felt strongly that one should be the primary caregiver and as far as possible we would like to be the ones in our kids lives for the most part.

We didnt wanted to leave her in the care of someone else for the major part of the week. We did however say if the parent that stays behind is feeling like it aint working we will discuss it at that point. I really wanted to be a SAHM and Grant knew he would not cut it as a SAHD.

We were never use to a two income salary so the money wasnt a problem. We knew how to cut costs when needed ect. Sometimes I feel like I dont contribute (society pressure) and will feel really bad about it and then just to prove a point to me Grant will work out what it will costs us at the moment for me to actually go to work and it will just not work out.

It really works out great for us. After I had her I really cant see myself putting her in creche and rushing to a job and then rush back get her. Make food, clean house, put her in bath and then in bed and live for weekends.

Hey it aint glamarous being a SAHM most of the time but I love it. ( 95% of the time anyway.)

As much as I'd love to be a SAHM we decided I had to return to work after 5 months because at the time we thought we couldn't do without my income but the closer we got to D-Day the worse I felt about leaving Michaela in the care of strangers.

DH and I discussed it seriously and we both agreed that we would rather our baby girl be raised by us instead of other people.

We then did the sums and found that over 1/2 of DH's salary would pay for childcare then once we took into account travel to work, work lunches, office expenses (occasional leaving gifts, morning teas etc), work clothes etc plus the emotional cost of sending our little baby into care (I know daycare's not bad but this is how we felt at the time) it actually made good financial sense for DH to quit his job and become a superdad.

that sounds fine. I like the part "Should any opportunities arise where I could work from home as well as look after my son, I would be interested in discussing them with you." Plants a seed.......

Being a SAHM is a job anyhow

i couldnt go back cause fat boy only wanted boob :) i rushed back to do 4 hours work and then rushed home to feed him etc but it was so exhausting and he wasnt sleeping for his poppa. now he is taking bottle but im due to go overseas and then we have to fall pregs this year ......we so need the money but next year will have to do :)