Maintaining who you are

What tips do you have for maintaining who you are when you become a mother? I find I get so absorbed in what is going on with Elle that I don't have the time, energy or mental space for anything else. I feel like a shadow of the person I used to be! I have developed tunnel vision and am not sure how to get out of it.

Any creative hints?

For me, my work is my creative outlet, altho atm I'm finding even that a struggle, I'd rather just curl up and go to sleep.

I don't know who I am anymore ...plain and simple! I'm not even standing in the shadow of my former self. Everything I do is for Lucas, I don't get any time away from him UNLESS mum babysits while I go grocery shopping, and even then its all about him as I spend the whole time reading labels & sourcing out new foods to try (fussy eater & allergies).

Haven't seen friends or socialised since God knows when ...before I was preggy/ just after he was born and people turned up to have a nose?

I hate it when people ask me to go out clubbing/drinking! My answer will always be no, thats my former life ...drinking - I will never involve myself in that scene again (not that i ever really did, I loved going clubbing purely to dance).

I don't get any time to myself, I have no idea what I like/dislike anymore. I WAS once a great painter/budding artist, made many gorgeous paintings for bub whilst preggy but now I just don't have the time ...not sure the talent is still there either!

I'm hoping once he gets to school age I will find myself again LOL

ETA: Just realized this whole post was a total rant about myself ....



Edited by Mum2Lucas

I would love to have some work to do at home now to keep my mind active but alas my work doesn't like the idea of me working from home with a baby here so I will have to wait until I officially go back.

I was thinking about picking up a paper or two to upskill while I'm on Mat leave but some days it's a struggle just to get dinner on so I'm a bit reluctant TBH.

Sometimes I think about doing some art stuff but that's about as far as I get.

Edit: Oh wait ! you wanted creative hints not someone who's in the same boat. Sorry not helpful.

Edited by Bobbie

Yep Im like you Steph, I have no idea who I am anymore. I think thats why I get soo soo anxious about doing anything thats isnt related to Isla, to the point I dont do anything!

Fiona, turn Oprah on. This woman is amazing!

Before I had Elle I was the girl who could cope with anything. No matter how big the stress my friend / family member etc was going through I could carry it all on my shoulders with no help from anyone. I juggled a zillion things happily and successfully and was very a positive person. I had a lot of responsibilities with my family but shouldered them all with ease.

Now I struggle to focus on anything outside Elle and that is the absolute opposite to the person I used to be. I used to be almost totally "others-centred" but now I feel like I'm just "Elle-centred".

Unfortunately I think it's something that goes hand in hand with becoming a Mum! I've turned into a total worry wart now that I have Lucas! They do become the centre of your world ...I'd be a little concerned if they weren't...it shows your a great mum

Im looking for a part time job just to get me out and mixing with other adults without worrying about Jaxon (although I would probably still think about him the whole time) lol....

FionaS wrote: I used to be almost totally "others-centred" but now I feel like I'm just "Elle-centred".

sounds to me like elle has replaced all the "others".

have you ever tried just being "Fiona-centred"?

Edited by Bizzy