Preemie bubbahs

ok, so I had my second baby 5 weeks early. I had developed pre-eclampsic toxemia. she was born by emergancy c-section after starting an induction to which my baby totaly freaked out, so wouldnt have coped with birth.

here's my issue, all though she's fine and i know having her born early was the best thing for both of us health wise, i still feel like i failed her, and i've failed at being a mum. Everything was fine in my first pregnancy so everything should have been fine in my second. She spent the first four weeks of her life in the hospital, in nicu and then scbu care.

i feel like i was robbed of m pregnancy and proper bonding time. I love her so much but ijust dont seem to be able to get past the feeling that i failed her as a mum before she was even born.

anyone else feel this way?