Am I being unreasonable?

A friend has a daughter who is 2 in December and she is so violent. She attacks any child and really hurts them, the thing is my friend doesn't stop her so if she is there you have to sit with your child the whole time to protect them. Every now and then she will tell her off and the kid cries so she picks her up and lets her do something really fun. She also roams around you whole house making a mess of every room. I have my house set up so jack can't where I don't want him but can play with everything where he can go.

When I go to other peoples houses I always try to clean up the mess Jack has made and stop him if he is playing with something he shouldn't or trying to hurt another kid or animal. Am I the mean mum who won't let jack do anything fun? or is it Ok to expect the same thing? I understand kids will be kids but don't they also have to learn to behave?

I want to say something to my friend but I kind of already know she will say "oh yeah I'm the worst mum you don't want to hang round with someone like me" so I say sorry. It's got to the point where I don't want her coming around anymore. I am looking forward to hearing others opinions

I think Miss said it all really.

Yes kids will be kids and should have the chance to but I think it is rude not to tidy up after your child if they have made a mess of someone else's house.

As for her not stopping her child from attacking other children, I'm sorry but that to me is so wrong.

I think I'd be inclined to limit contact with her especially given that she does not seem receptive to any constructive advice!

Thanks for pointing that out Robyn I hadn't thought of that I might try say something cos she might think it is cute. This kid doesn't see many kids so i guess she just goes for it.

thanks miss and paws if things don't get better i might have to limit contact.

When I frist moved over here I met a really nice lady and her son who sounds similar to your friends child. He was so aggressive and on the odd occasion she did do anything about his violent attacks she was basically rewarding him- things like 'come over here and have some cake'. I know that some people parent diiferently but when it comes to your childs safety and wellbeing you have to put them first.

As far as the letting her kids run riot in your house and not cleaning up- like the others have said, thats just bad manners! I would recommend limiting contact, and like Kat said, when you do see her try to meet outside your house.

I am with meow....how about suggesting you meet somewhere else...maybe a park etc where she has to keep an eye on her kid? Or chipmunks (even Mcd's playground)etc where if she does that to someone elses kid THEY will step up and say something...you could then always back them up and say "well...she is kinda outta control..etc etc.."
I wouldnt cut her off but maybe she needs her eyes opened a little in a gentle way...?

Sooo not Nikki! Hannahs not that bad at all and you're really good at stepping in when anything does crop up

I agree with everyone else... you're not being unreasonable, you are putting your child's wellbeing first. If the mother is not taking responsibility for her child's behaviour, then it (unfortunately) falls on you to find new ways for you to interact... and if that doesn't work (ie, the kid is still being violent, and your boundries are not being respected) then it may be time to reevaluate the friendship.

I "let" a friendship die after the mum laughed when her son pulled a potted plant out by the stem - at my parents place where I was housesitting! She knew it wasn't my house, and knew the plants were off limits (I'd already growled Kiya for touching them) but still didn't do anything about her son... I had to clean up the mess and repot the plant.

I stop other kids if they are being too rough with Hannah. I didnt used to but now I dont care what the other parents think, my babies my important. I just either pick Hannah up or show the other kid how to be more gentle - its usually cos the older one has gotten all excited and rough, not cos thats how they are and I dont think the parents mind...

We were at a playground one day and Hannah very kindly gave a baby in a capsule a whole lot of bark to play with. I had to sit there for 15 minutes picking it all back out (while the mother was getting icecreams for her other children) and hope like hell she didn't attack me when she came back adn found me crouching over her baby!
Luckily she was quite forgiving... I guess her other kids had done things like that to the baby too. But still - Mortifying!

Well... it is hard dealing with a kid that is quite nasty at times. I know sometimes I am at my wits end when Han is being rough.
The best thing I have found is removing them from the situation.... whether that is a meter away or time out in the hall way or whatever.
I'd say she needs to learn some techniques fast because otherwise what could just be a stage could turn into 'normal' behaviour for that child.