Am I Mad?

While I sometimes would anwser HECK YES to my thread title I'm sure in this case I'm not...

I just got off the phone to a friend and she really p*ssed me off & I ended up abruptly ending the convo & hanging up & now I'm sitting here fuming!

I would just like to know your opinion on the situation...

DH & I have been TTC for around 3 years and recently found out we would require IVF which is due to start in April.

For the last year or so I have been buying baby things & adding them to my little 'nest' as DH calls it.

My reasoning is as follows:
We are young & have a hefty mortgage so while we are both earning good money & two wages it makes perfect sense to me to buy the things we won't be able to afford when we are on one wage. We are also about to buy a business so money is going to be tight next year. I usually buy things such as merino & organic clothing, wraps, blankets etc. Basically more the more expensive things that I can afford to buy now but know will be harder when we are down to one income.
I buy neutral colours in different sizes & never spend excessive amounts, I usually buy things on special etc. I have a huge box full of brand new gorgeous stuff which I love adding to(& occasionally use for presents)..... So I just mentioned to a friend that something had arrived by courier and she told me that was 'stupid & wasting my money & should just wait like everyone else!'. It really hurt my feelings!

I guess in a way it gives me something exciting to do while we wait for our IVF to start. I don't see how it is stupid, it seems quite a good idea to me & it means I can give my baby all the things I prefer to without the stress of money?

While I know our IVF might not work first time etc, we will have a baby at some stage so its always going to be used.

Am I being stupid & 'wasting my money' as I was just told?

Sorry for the novel but I'm still fuming.

I think if it makes you happy then there is nothing wrong with it! I think it was a bit rude on your friends part even if she didnt agree with what you are doing she could have been more sensitive about it

She sounds like a bi-arch! You can spend your money how you please and no one needs to be called 'stupid' when it comes to wanting a baby.

Goodluck with IVF.

Gah .. I think most of my friends are idiots for spending their money on sh*te like cigarettes and alcohol .. and people think im strange for my penchant for shoes and baby carriers

It's your money, if you want to spend it on baby clothes who is she to say its a waste

OMG I would have lost the plot at her - hanging up on her would be the smallest offence. She should never have said those things - would you say to a newly pregnant friend not to buy things in case you miscarry? Bah!

I think you're brilliant and doing the right thing preparing for the time when you will have a child. I wish more people had the smarts and resources to start buying while in the planning stage. 9 months is a short space of time to cram all the shopping in, and man is it expensive!

I wish you all the best of luck on your journey to parenthood.

My friend is not pregnant and her partner doesn't want kids for another two years , she loves babies and can't wait to be a mum and has a glory box full of baby clothes, blankets etc etc AND recently purchased (on special , but still) a Quinny Buzz stroller, and capsule and something else but I forgot what it was .
Some may say shes mad, but hey , its her money , and there are worse things she could be spending it on, and if it makes her feel like shes closer to her dream , why the hell not ?

Same goes for you , ignore comments like that, I think there is nothing wrong with it , nor do I think you are mad ! I do think that was an insensitive thing for her to say , and I think you should ignore any comments like that .
Enjoy your shopping , and all the best as you embark on your IVF journey

Pooh to her I say! Good on you, it makes a lot of sense to be buying the things now that you will need in the future. I started buying stuff ages ago like probably two years ago, no wait even longer since I hadn't even met DH hahaha! I knew I was gonna have kids one day (tho it took 18 months to get pregnant).

ETA Good luck with the IVF in April

Edited by NatsCats

when i was younger i had the most gorgeous hand knitted baby outfits in my glory box - or hope chest as some call them - they sat there for years and i eventually gave them away to friends who did have babies... anyway it was years later that i finally got my baby!

so its not mad to buy when you arent even pregnant... however not everyone can understand that and even tho saying its stupid isnt nice and is probably a stupid thing in itself, i can kind of get how someone might say it if they thought a friend was potentially setting themselves up to get hurt.

Surely what you choose to spend your money on is your business and no one elses.

I've got loads of baby stuff too and no baby either, some people can be insensitive.

Thanks for the reassurance ladies.

I do understand the comments about 'jinxing' things or setting myself up to get hurt etc but its not like I am buying all this stuff expecting to get pregnant straight away when we begin IVF. Im more than realistic about our chnaces & I realise we may not get pregnant first or even second time. But I also know that we will have a baby at some stage, somehow, so it all helps, and hey by the time that happens I may have a whole room full of stuff & a very well dressed baby! ha ha

Also, I don't buy big things like strollers, cots etc, I'll save that for the 9 months I actually am pregnant!

Thanks again, I feel less 'stupid' now!