Shared Care

What is the best option for a 2.5 year old? Would you do week about or a couple days a week?

She loves her daddy soooo much and cries her heart out when he is not there

Kandice, sorry to hear this. I havent been on here for a while...have you split with DF? hugs!

Personally I wouldn't go there with a 2.5 yo but would have short and regular bursts instead. Maybe a couple of hours a couple of evenings a week and either an overnight and day or full day in the weekend. I would hate to live between two houses and feel sorry for kids that have to live like this. But that is just my opinion.

You could try going to counselling with a family counsellor to see what they suggest for a child that age. I'm sure lots of other families have been through the same thing and you would be able to learn from other peoples experiences.

I was thinking week about also, but i don't know if i would like this if it was me doing it. Having 2 of everything. Having to leave her for a week! I was thinking 2 nights on weekdays, and a weekend. But then i would miss her! I dont want to let her go. I have to be fair though, he is a fantastic dad to her and i want that to continue.

I'm sorry you're going through this Kandice.

My friend's kiddo is almost 4 now but she's been separated from the Dad since they were about 2.5yo. They stayed with their Dad one night a week in the beginning and then every second weekend I think. Now it's 2nights in a row in the week as well.

When we were about that age Dad would have us for the weekend once a fortnight, as we got older (about 5 or 6 I think) this turned into being a week about arrangement, worked well for us at the time

Awwww Kandice, I am so sorry.

I'm a weekabouter that 'didn't seem to mind'. I think I pay for it now. I never had one real home in my mind the rules values etc differed between the two places as did the friends who lived locally etc. I was never settled, suer I saw both parents equally but that was stressful in itself. I would have much rather seen my father in weekends or at times my mother in weekends, and it would have felt like a mini break away from the other parent. It was confusing, and unsettling going between the strict parent and the cruisy parent, two different sets of rules and expectations etc.

Now, I was married as soon as I could, and purchased a house as soon as I could in the country. This is my home and my community, and I finally feel like I'm grounding my feet somewhere. I don't regret anything I've done 18+, but I wonder how much of it is because I just wanted to belong IYKWIM?

HOWEVER! I was 11 - 17/18ish, not 2.5. I was at that stage where I needed a home, and to feel super grounded, strong boundaries, reinforced rules etc. I think at this age it could be okay, although she would miss you a fair bit too. But as they get older, I know parents think 'week about' is the nicest way around it and kids don't seem to mind, but it leaves me feeling a bit queasy.

I'm not saying it can't work, but you need to be so ready to make the two environments as similar as each other as you can. Of course both of my parents would probably tell you they did that

Edited by Flake

Hey Kandice Caprece is about the same age and she has one night a week with her Dad but I kinda feel like it's not enough as it's on a Thursday night and by the following Tuesday they ask when is it Daddy day again. So I think two nights would be ideal. I don't think I would like any more than that away from them and I don't think their Dad could cope with any longer than that. I think it's really great that Charles is keen to have her a lot and you can always adjust it if it doesn't work.

Good luck and I'm sorry you guys are heading down that road