BF / forumla info for woman who cant BF

Hi ladies

I dont want to start a debate on pro breast feeding vs formula and not sure if this is the right place to post this but.....

my aunty is 30 weeks pregnant and met a lactation consultant and was told that it is highly unlikely that she may not be able to breast feed, she is getting really down about it as the midwifes, people at the antinatal classes etc are all pro breast feeding and shes feeling really inadequate already etc....because no one talks about formula feeding....anyway is there any information or books out there that provides info on formula feeding or any of your experiences with how to cope with the taboo subject of formula feeding of those who couldnt or didnt bf anything that may make her feel better - not like a failure and inadequate if she cant breast feed? cause I could imagine that when baby comes and your sleep deprived and cant bf those feelings of inadequacy may get worse....

thanks for your help ladies

I'm working on some bottle feeding info for OHbaby! that will be up by the end of next week, will include a How To guide.
Also, we're planning a feature on the cultural aspect of bottlefeeding for the July/Aug issue of the OHbaby! mag, we're going to be talking to mums about their experiences with the whole Breast is Best thing when bottlefeeding.
Oh and I have a book called Bottle Babies by Adelia Ferguson, Katherine bought it on TM so you might be able to get a copy there or from Amazon possibly but it's a Kiwi book so might not be on Amazon.

Awesome thanks ladies I have texted my aunty to see if she would like me to buy it for her leaving work at lunchtime so will PM you as soon as I hear from her

Seb had no real suck reflex either... and he was a 38 weeker so not premmie or anything. He liked the bottles cause he didn't have to work for the milk, and since he wasn't feeding his blood sugar was dropping badly. I'm ashamed to say I felt a little like sending him back and asking for one that wasn't broken! And even now that he's stopped drinking formula fullstop I still feel irrationally guilty about the whole thing... silly things like maybe he's a slow talker because I didn't BF him.

I couldn't breastfeed at all because my nipples are so flat that Sam couldn't even latch once. I got a lot of grief for this because basically nobody believed me and I was made to feel silly and lazy for not trying harder. I put him on the bottle at three weeks after exclusively expressing. I am happy with the choices I made even though I still get comments today about not breastfeeding!

i am wondering if maybe your aunty needs a second opinion cause it seems strange to me that she would be told she prob wont be able to bf when she hasnt even had the baby yet...(unless of course it is an obvious thing like she had a boob job that damaged stuff or her nipples arent normal, etc).

I got told I probably wouldn't be able to BF either but as it turned out with the help of nipple shields I could and now I don't even need to use those.

That being said I think it is horrible the way that the scales have tipped so far for 'breast is best' that it makes women feel bad if they can't or choose not to. I agree - whatever is best for mum and baby is the best decision. I hate the amount of women out there that feel inadequate and depressed simply because professionals refuse to acknowledge that for some people BFing is just not an option.

I have a friend Ali who's baby was unable to bf due to a condition that effects thousands of babies called tongue tie. The skin under the tongue is too short and tight so babies cant suck the nipple back far enough in their mouths. The skin can be nipped (which in painless apparently) but by the time that it is usually identified the mothers milk is already starting to dry up. Ali was told off by a complete stranger in a cafe once as she was bottle feeding her baby. She was distraught as she had wanted to bf but it was not possible. Some people can be so cruel and jump to conclusions about this high pressured issue. I am sure for some breast is best but like everything it is not for everyone and people should allow the individual to make their decision.

I am not pro or anti bf. I plan to bf this baby as I did manage to with my dd. However, if I cant then I wont feel a failure or pressurised by society to try to do something that is not possible. With a baby there is always the next thing to worry about.

I have now got off the horse

I was given alot of grief about formula feeding, Haleigh I got really bad mastitis and with the antibiotics haleigh just wouldnt sleep and fed every hr, so formula was the best, with jame he refused to feed so formula it was, with haleigh i got really upset with comments, with james pfft i tell them to get over it ive heard them all. I got sick of explaining that i had flat nipples and it was a challenge to bfeed haleigh for 6days and express for 6wks as it was.

Plunket in Motueka gave me an awesome booklet on formula feeding, maybe ask the local plunket, the karitane nurse there was great she helped me and alot of other mums in my Pepe group feel good about ourselves and let us know we werent bad mothers for formula feeding

James got reflux but i know plenty of bfed babies who got reflux to so I don't bring it down to formula feeding and AR got rid of that, both my kids were formula fed (haleigh had exceptiion of 6wks expressed) and both to me are very bright so I really dont like hearing from people that formula fed babies are slower, if they were James wouldnt be walkign around furniture and starting to talk already, Haleigh wouldnt have walked at 9.5months.

There are alot of us formula mums out there, and not all plunkets push the whole breast is best thing,
my MW i had with James felt bad cause in training they werent taught about formula so she couldnt really help with formulas etc, she wished they were taught more about it, my mw with haleigh adopted her first child so she was fantastic help and spent time with me making sure we got the right stuff, right bottles etc.

ok my post turned into a novel, wasnt meant to do that lol,

If anybody lives out Titirangi way - I noticed the book referred to in earlier posts was on the shelf in the library yesterday.