The Ads are to promote

fattartsrock wrote: Imagine the outcry if we set up a thread to support BF mums.

 

I think a thread to support breastfeeding mums is a fantastic idea!  I sure know I could have used one in the early weeks before we got our BFing sorted.

Ok, having been a breastfeeding mother of my first two children, and then ending up being a bottlefeeding mother of my youngest child....I can see both sides of the debate.

I do think that some people are being a tad overbearing with their opinions and there needs to be some respect for all mums.

We are all adults here and we need to take a step back and remember that it's not about what you feed your child, its about giving your child love, cuddles and food! Whether it is from a nipple or a teat shouldn't be relevant.

I have said this before and will say it again. This is a public forum and if you put your opinion out there, be prepared for negative and positive responses.

Bashing? Can someone please point out the post where a breast-feeder was "bashed"?

If you love breast-feeding, good for you! I'm sorry, but I didn't see anyone say that you were in the wrong for doing so/being proud it. And saying that these 'negative' comments are just your own hang ups, well I'm sorry but that's complete bollocks. Sometimes maybe it's just being over-sensitive sure, but I have heard comments and heard from friends who have had comments, and in NO WAY are they a result of hang ups. They are a result of a person, quite often a stranger, who can't learn to shut their trap on things that simply aren't their business.
I stated in the other thread that often this can go in reverse too, I'm sure there are many breast-feeders who have gotten an overly interfering idiot who feels they have a right to an opinion over their child too.

I didn't think the thread was so bad, certainly I've seen much much worse, but clearly you feel '"bashed", and that's your choice.

Frankly I think a support thread for breast-feeding mums is a great idea. Even though I formula fed, I still think it's great that others breast-feed so well. I intend to try again with this coming baby.

ChundaMars wrote: .Mel wrote: I do think that some people are being a tad overbearing with their opinions and there needs to be some respect for all mums. I would add that the above applies not just to BFing, but everything really! Why do people (particularly women) get so upset about stuff that doesn't affect them? <shakes head> Don't sweat the small stuff ladies!

Well said

.Mel wrote: We are all adults here and we need to take a step back and remember that it's not about what you feed your child, its about giving your child love, cuddles and food! Whether it is from a nipple or a teat shouldn't be relevant. I have said this before and will say it again. This is a public forum and if you put your opinion out there, be prepared for negative and positive responses.

 

I agree with this completely!

Edited by MrsMojo

We really shouldn't be judgemental. For those of us who are lucky enough to be able to breastfeed, it is such an awesome experience, but if a women is unable to breastfeed, we should not condemn them. People make judgements on face value sometimes and just because a baby is being bottlefeed doesn't mean that it is any less loved or bonded then a breastfeed baby. My nephew who is 5 now was fully bottle fed, not because my sister didn't want to breastfeed but because she physically couldn't because biologically he wasn't hers, yet she would have given the world to experience the wonder of breastfeeding again. What does get to me is mothers who decide to bottlefeed from the get go just so they are able to drink alcohol and go out. I have a friend who was like that with both her babies and it really disheartens me.

 

We should be supporting all mothers,whether breastfeeding or bottlefeeding.

Edited by ooEvaoo

Have many of you come under direct attack for your choice? i.e. someone come up to you to tell you that you are doing the wrong thing? Or is the attack more perceived i.e. based on your interpretion of what others might be thinking? I know on some issues (not child related) I sometimes feel defensive if someones view on something close to my heart differs from mine. For me feeling defensive is usually a clue that the issue is mine and not the other persons.

I hear people saying they are pro-one-choice-or-the-other but haven't really heard of anyone who directly criticises another for their choice.   For e.g. saying "I formula feed" doesn't necessarily imply they are anti-breastfeeding and vice versa. I realise those people are out there but are they really that common?

Just a genuine question....

I was a breastfeeder - breastfed until 14mths with no formula and I loved it. But my dd was an excellent feeder so we were very blessed in that regard. Had we struggled, the outcome may have been different, I don't know.   I'm not prepared to make a blanket statement when I haven't been there.

In my experience, if I were to generalise, I would say I hear more breastfeeders attacking bottle feeders than the other way around and yet it is the breastfeeders who say they feel attacked.   I know a lot of bottle feeders and not one of them think negatively about breastfeeding, in fact many are sad they couldn't do it.

Sorry - I hope that wasn't too bold, it is simply my experience...nothing more.

What I'm trying to saying is that I don't think many of us actually judge others on this issue at all so maybe we all need to take a step back, turn our personal defensive-meter off and accept that different strokes work for different folks - regardless of our personal choice.

Anyway, I think I'll leave this topic alone now, I don't think much more can be gained from it.
I've already gone on and on a bit anyway, I don't mind if people don't agree... I just like making my point, even if no-one really wants to know it.

arohanui wrote: Bubnumber2 wrote: We should be supporting all mothers,whether breastfeeding or bottlefeeding. If there was a thumbs up smilie, I would use it right now. Kindly pretend that you can see one. Here you go!

Aww man, there was one? I'm blind lol. Thank you.

FionaS wrote: Have many of you come under direct attack for your choice? i.e. someone come up to you to tell you that you are doing the wrong thing? Or is the attack more perceived i.e. based on your interpretion of what others might be thinking? I know on some issues (not child related) I sometimes feel defensive if someones view on something close to my heart differs from mine. For me feeling defensive is usually a clue that the issue is mine and not the other persons.

Hi Fiona - I had several incidents where complete strangers passed comment to me or asked me (what I would think now to be inappropriate) questions.

Example being - in a parents room giving Oli a bottle at about 6weeks old (he had only just gone exclusively to f/f) when a middle aged woman with 2 toddlers in tow....came right up to me....stuck her face in mine and said "Isnt your baby too little to be on the bottle....stick him on the breast he'll be much happier"....WTF....at the time I just ignored her, as I wasnt in an emotional place to deal with that. I had another comment from a woman at a plunket coffee group / talk who said to me (when Oli was grizzling)...."just stick him on your boob that will quiet him down"...when I repsonded that "actually he is on the bottle" (quite brave of me really) she responded really loudly by saying "you will regret that decision!".

I guess the worse one for me was the lactation consultant at Birthcare who we saw a week after we got home (so Oli was 2 weeks old), who basically told us in a very sharp way that because we had been topping him up with formula he was going to get asthma and allergies.

These comments basically made me so paranoid and nervous about people seeing me feed Oli, that I stopped going out without DH, and thats when the PND set in.

I think "sticky beaks" have a lot to answer for.

ETA: I think that new mummies are emotionally stressed / confused / tired and often people who are well-meaning can just seem to be having a dig. But to honest - its none of their damn business.

 

Edited by SimSam