Regretting parenthood?

Not me, but a friend of mine struggles on and off with being a parent. She's a SAHM but I don't think that going back to work would "solve" things for her. It's more that she feels she has lost her freedom, options to stay up late, being able to make decisions for only #1 and all those things.

What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?

cliche , but i just count my blessings
sure , being a single mum (tho im not anymore) ive missed out on some stuff but i what ive gained is far more important, and the only time life stops , is when your dead , so you just put somethings off til your better able to do them , eg when babies older.

Most of the time all i have to do to remind myself how lucky i am to have her, i just have to miss her for awhile

i don't regret anything as such, but sometimes it would be nice to just say "hey, lets go to Taupo for the weekend" and not have to pack everything to get there. going in when they are sleepy and hearing the sleepy "i love you mummy" helps.

I've also started diaries for the boys - where I put the funny things they say, so reading that and going through the pics helps too.

busymum wrote: What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?

you just have to get on with it... regretting it wont change it...

hi im new here, but this is something i have had to deal with to. i dont regret my son at all but mayb the timing a little bit. it forcrd me to grow up fast and i now have to think about somone else b

busymum wrote: What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?

If I was in that situation and didn't feel as if I was improving then I would try to talk to someone about it. There are lots of options like Counsellers, NLP Practitioners or Life coaches that could help get some direction back into her life.

I never regret having DD and Def not going to regret having this one....altho some times I feel down when DH goes out to parties or "Boys night Out" and I stay home either because DD is sick or what ever! I choose not to go out much as I am a working mum and feel that every min I have with DD is precious....But thats just me. Like LIZ...I think the big cuddles...I love you mumma...Mumma youre my friend ..etc helps loads.

I also like Liz's idea of keeping a note book of all the funny things they say or do to remind us how wonderful our kids are!!

I don't regret it but I totally wasn't prepared to still have no sleep at 6 months:)but then I look at him in the morning and realise how lucky I am

nikkiwhyte wrote: Sometimes I deprive myself of a social life because it's easier to stay at home and do nothing. But then when I do get out I feel so much better and more in touch with the world.

Soooo true Nikki!!  Or its cold out, the kids wont settle without me, I have nothing to wear etc etc...

I think it's fair enough for some people not to enjoy parenthood! It's just not everyone's cup of tea. I have times when I don't regret becoming a mother as such, but I miss having time to myself, the freedom that it brings, more energy and just more time spent hanging out with friends over coffee and movies and dinner. But when I weigh it up - would I really rather have my 'old' life or this one, I can't honestly say I'd want that life back. It was great while it lasted, and this surely is harder work, but it won't always be so hard because my kids will go to school one day and I won't know what to do with myself once that happens! I look at Ella and think how much I love her, and I don't feel guilty about having moments of missing my freedom, because the two don't have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe as her friend you could let her know that you think it's OK to have those feelings and you can still be a great mum at the same time.