My biggest worry...

My biggest worry about being a mum, has nothing to do with baby or my ability to be a mum.
What I am so so so worried about is the fact that I will be dependant on my partner to support me and baby?
Aside from the measly $130 a week I think I can get from working for families, I will have no income and I am scared that DP will start to resent supporting me and expect me to get back into the work force and "earn my keep".

How have you all dealt with this worry? Did it ever become a problem for you?

It is seriously the ONLY thing that i'm worried about with this baby. Nothing else phases me at the moment.

Yeah 130 a week is pretty good for wff. we get $18 now

Living off his income now and saving the rest is a good way to get used to it. I wish we had done that as we would have built up alot of savings and we find living on one income now alright. Things get tight with unexpected bills but I've managed to find ways to cut back like on groceries and petrol and now I wonder where all of my income went. We still put a little away each fortnight into our savings so can't be too bad. I've got no intention of going back to work anytime soon and DH is fine with that. We just make sure we both get sanity money each payday to do with what we please.

I think the main thing with out mind set is that I'm still working full time it's just that I'm not getting paid for it. What DH earns is our money not his.

Edited by kebakat

Ill be stoked when DP actually has an income!! lol
Ive been the sole provider for a fair few months now.... so he owes me!
Sux for him not being able to find work though.
Stupid R word has freaked employers out.

Sorry- roundabout situation.

I understand how you feel- I am a very independant person, and the idea of being dependant is less than ideal.
I hate the idea of being forced back to work when Im not ready.... I want the time to be a mum.

Yip I am thoroughly freaked out at the moment but have managed to make $500 last about three weeks and that includes me being a pig and just wanting things like chocolate! My gas and major food shopping bills.

I'm hoping my maternity pay gets granted and that will help for the 14 weeks we get it then I will get wff as dp is on salary and it never fluctuates up only down, then we will apply for accommodation supplement hmmm which when baby comes will hoepefully be about $60 on dps salary alone now we qualify for $42 which anything is good iykwim

I think you need to talk to him and draw up a budget of where everything goes. Figure out how much spending money you get and he could always give you an automatic payment or something if he doesn't want to share bank accounts.

We had my kids dad paying everything except food and I paid for food (with WFF) , what we each had left over was our spending money.

Also you will probably get accomodation supplement from WINZ so thats something to look into.

It surprises me how people can be in relationships and want to have children together but still think my money is mine and yours is yours..........if you willing to have children together then your money should be evenly split regardless of how much you both earn

Me and my DH in the beginning used to put the same amount into the rent bills etc cos i didnt see why i should pay more cos i earnt more, but as time went on and the relationship became more serious and we started thinking about having children, all our money was pooled together and we both got the exact same spending money each week after the bills were paid...........and this is yours to spend on what ever you like

Carin i can understand your DP wanting to be cautious about money cos of his ex, but if he doesnt trust you in that respect then I wouldnt think your relationship is ready to bring a child into it..........but since your at that point now, then things ARE going to have to change and instead of looking at money as yours and His, it should now be combined..........!!! Its a serious commitment to have children and as mothers who stay at home to look after our children and not have that income, we do feel under appreciated and the fathers can get resentful that THEIR(his) money is supporting you both.............you really need to sort this now before you have the baby because it is a tough rollercoaster and one that breaks couples up ALOT!!!

I personally think that instead of you trying to talk about it, you should both go and see a financial adviser or budget adviser so that it can be done fairly and he will see its someone else saying it and not you and dismissing your suggestions.............we had our accountant help us out and my DH finally got off my case cos i was able to say "hello you agreed with the accountant"

Me and DH only get $40 a week each to spend on what we want and we get no say in each others money.........i know its not much but honestly all the bills are paid, food and rent theres not a huge amount left. My DH chooses to spend his on Beer and Rollies, and i generally spend mine on clothes. but if times are tough i am the first to sacrifice my money for food etc which does peeve me off from time to time but since i do all the finances and food shopping etc then i put it as my responsiblity to make sure my family has every thing it needs, esp a DH who is a bear with a sore head with no beer or ciggies..........as much as that drives me nuts...........

Tall and short Carin, you guys are having a baby TOGETHER, not just you, so now its a two way street and you need to sort out a budget NOW

I can understand where you are coming from - before I had DD I earnt slightly more than DH and was a little worried about what I percieved as my loss of independence.

Once DD was here, I realised that looking after a baby fulltime is ten times harder than going out to work, so I felt absolutely no guilt in spending money. I did go back to work part time after 6 months due to choice rather than financial reasons, and I'm glad I did.

We don't qualify for WFF but the 14 week government payment is just over $400 before tax a week from memory - I think you get the full amount if what you earnt before going on leave was at least this much.

Wow I imagine it must be a bit sensitive given your DH/DP past experience too. Makes things a little less straight forward Id imagine. Not that these things are ever straight forward.

Money is definately my biggest stress so far too Carin.

 

Not that I feel that DF will worry about supporting me, because it is not his and my, its our money. I know we will manage, DF was without a job for 4 months after finishing uni and it was really hard on us, but we survived and we will again.

 

At the end of the day it is just money. Sure, its nice to have lovely things around you. But as long as you are warm, fed and happy that is all that matters - of course, much easier said than done.

I'm sure it will work out fine. DP already has the I'm the financial provider hat on. I'm used to having my own money so am used to doing what I want when I want although I'm normally the person that says but we can't afford it and trying to scrounge on the money as he will just go and spend and spend and spend. We've lived for a month without a second income at all already and its been hard but we've managed. I only had money as my annual leave was paid out. We have our credit cards that if we really need something then can use that but try as much as possible not to.

I suggest you do big buys now, and save and borrow things for bubs and look at your groceries etc so that your aware of what you "waste" money on the non neccessities