Telling off other people’s kids

I was at Mainly Music this morning and a kid about 2 yrs came up to Cooper and shoved him quite hard into the ground (he was on all 4's) :( I saw red and marched over and told him off.
I don't think I was too over the top, but what do you guys think? Is it inappropriate to tell other people's kids off? Especially strangers kids. No one looked at or said anything to me, or claimed the kid and I saw him do something similar last week and no one did anything.

Personally for behaviour like that I would. For me any behaviour that is going to hurt other people or break something deserves some sort of (appropriate) reaction from the nearest adult.

You'd make sure it's appropriate ie not yelling, swearing etc. A firm tone of voice is usually enough. I'd also locate the parents is behaviour continued.

Although I am a teacher so I am quite used to telling kids off!

If the parent didn't step in, I would tell the child off.

I would be happy for someone to tell Chloe off as long as it was justified, and they didn't yell, swear, hit, etc.

I would have thought that it was completely appropriate.However a friend of mine (who parents at the complete other end of the spectrum) had a complete melt down when a similar thing happened to her and her child last week (she didn't think he was being naughty)

Yip DH and I both end up telling other kids off that come to our house We don't do it to be mean but when the other kids are throwing toys, food or about to hit someone over the head with something and the parents dont even seem to care we often step in and tell them off (nicely though!)

If another kid hit or bowled my child over and the parents didnt step in then yes I would defiantly be saying something to the other child!

Interesting topic - have had several discussions about this recently with friends.

My rule is that if Dan is at other people's house, he needs to follow their rules. E.g. the other day he was standing in someone's cat food and they told him to get out of the cat food. Completely appropriate and done really appropriately too. Where I struggle is where people are telling him not to do things that we don't have an issue with (e.g. at friend's place, he was riding his bike fast, they were telling him to slow down - so not telling off as such but just trying to change his behaviour), and I don't know what the answer is. We want him to learn to respect other adults but I also don't feel comfortable reinforcing their desire to change his behaviour that is not hurting anyone.

I do get really cross with kids that hit etc and their parents do nothing or just say "no, xxx, we don't do that" and 2 seconds later, the kid is just doing exactly the same thing.

LittleBug wrote: If the parent didn't step in, I would tell the child off. I would be happy for someone to tell Chloe off as long as it was justified, and they didn't yell, swear, hit, etc.

Same here, I don't think it's ok to frighten the child when you tell them off but def ok to make the point clear that what they are doing is wrong/naughty and no Ok.

I would definitely not hesitate. In fact maybe if I saw another kid being bullied and no one stepped in I would probably say something too...

I will but I make sure it's age appropriate. For a two year old I wouldn't 'tell them off' more make a big deal how they hurt the other child and say something about gentle hands. TBH I would be pissed if someone 'told' one of my kids off. Explaining what they did wasn't nice is fine but personally it's the parents job to discipline, yours is to look after you own child. If another parent does a sh*t job of it well that's there problem not mine and would really enforce it to my child that the other child didn't have nice behaviour.

Cool, seems that most think that it's ok.   So I won't feel bad

The little boy actually came up to us later and smiled and tried to touch Cooper so I can't have been too scary. I wasn't sure if he was trying to show me he could touch nicely or was going to have another go at him, so I moved Cooper out of the way.

Flissty wrote: Where I struggle is where people are telling him not to do things that we don't have an issue with (e.g. at friend's place, he was riding his bike fast, they were telling him to slow down - so not telling off as such but just trying to change his behaviour), and I don't know what the answer is. We want him to learn to respect other adults but I also don't feel comfortable reinforcing their desire to change his behaviour that is not hurting anyone.

i wouldnt say they were trying to change a behaviour more that they were considering his safety. Quite often parents have different ideas of what is safe and what isnt. Me, i would probably tell them that he is fine and that is a speed he is used to going, but thanks for worrying! and give them a smile.

i have told bigger kids off at playgrounds for being silly and inappropriate and will tell my nieces and nephews off too. I dont like it if other people tell my kids off for doing things that i dont consider naughty, and i think there can be a line crossed very easily.

Edited by Bizzy