New Job.

Oh that sucks! Hrmmm... have absolutely no advice to offer ya... but hugs through internet cables do instead?

i was away from Lewis for a few months while firstly, waiting for Jake to get his visa, and then waiting for Lewis to finish his contract. I can say honestly that it is tough. I was living with my ,um while Lewis was away wehich made things heaps easier- although she worked. We got into a routine pretty quickly which helped with me feeling like a solo mum. I also tried to ensure we got out of the house every nice day we had. Do you have any coffee groups around? personally I have found my local playcentre group wonderful for some adult company!
As for Mikey missing his dad, that is tough. Jake asks now "where's dad?" all the time (dad is at work). We got a webcam and organised days for talking. I also emailed Lewis everyday with pictures and what the boys were up to. Lewis tried recording his voice reading some of Jake's favourite books too. didn't work, but good idea all the same.

I also had a book I made - one for Lewism, one for Jake, of phootos of them together. we looked at it each night and talked about where Daddy was, when he was coming home, and how much he loved Jake.

The big problem Lewis had, when he came back, it took Jake a while to "get used" to him again. He found that really tough as he ran to him, ready to give him a big hug, and Jake kinda freaked out at the airport and ran to me.

oh we did discuss it, i made sure of that. but he did make me see that this is a really good opportunity. we can save heaps of money and then when we sell the house in greymouth we can buy one in nelson and live there for good. so it's really a positive step.

thanks liz, those are some really good ideas. i'll definitely be sending sam heaps of photos of mikey and he will be seeing him every week for afew days so hopefully mikey won't forget him.

i'm in nelson at the moment, reefton's about 2 1/2 hours drive away so it's not too bad.
but no, i wouldn't want to live on the coast again, it rains all the time and i can't go visit my family whenever i want.

i've sort of come to the realisation that this will be quite a good thing for us even though i'm going to miss him horribly. it's all sort of building towards the future.

I would give Sam some ideas to what him and Mikey can do together too. sometimes Dads get a bit stumped. Make sure he gets some time alone with Mikey when he comes back to "reconnect", that said, the most MOST important thing I can not stress enough - make sure you and Sam get some alone time - to reconnect and really tyalk - try and go out for dinnre or something - alone! Lewis and I didn't and we have been having major problems because of it. you really need that "us two" time if he is going to be away so much.

well if it was me - and i realise its not - i would just say bugger it, bite the bullet and go. i mean its not the end of the world and i can only imagine how hard it must be to work away from your family and feel that your wife/partner doesnt support you. men dont communicate well so we can only try and guess at how they really feel.

if it was reversed would you expect him to support you and live where you found the best opportunities.?

Sounds like you two hae got it sorted Ella I can totally understand now why you want to stay (with all the other moves) and thats cool that he will come back if things arent working out.

oh don't worry about it gsmum, i wasn't offended. i'm open to all opinions