A Failure!

I wasnt being harsh to her at all - and I know who the person is and I know she isnt a bad mother!

KM your comments on here show you have so much to learn - and if you dont want people to respond to you the way they do then dont write about your life on here. As i said before parenting courses are a good option and there are a lot out there. I dont think anobody needs a parenting course...ive seen her in action and know she really has it sussed and just needs some hugs right now. I would not even compare her with you. Total differnet kettle of fish! and it is a shame her thread wanting soem sympathy has become about you due to your comments of threatening children and smacking!

It is hard to make any comment here without context, but as someone who definitely knows the feeling of 'wanting out', I send you HUGE hugs. Parenting is hard. I can't imagine what it is like with two (soon to be three?), although I will soon find out. I very much doubt you are a failure, although we all feel like that some days. With one baby coming up to the two year old age group, I'm already getting wound up by her behaviour. I don't have any advice, just wanted to add that I hear you, it's not fun being a mum sometimes, and

I too take your original post the same way as Nikki and Emma. I hope you get a break this weekend.

And KM and BS - take it elsewhere eh guys?

Somedays, I think all I ever do is yell and scream and "threaten" Jake (not with anything specifically, but more along the lines of "if you don't..)and have had, especially in the last month lots of days when I wanted out, and have hated both of my kids cos its just sooo damned hard.

And it is dammned hard and all the parenting books in the world cannot ever prepare you for the terror that is an almost 2 to when the hell does this stop? year old.

AND, can I just say, dosen't matter what kind of parent you are, and what ever smug thoughts those who haven't been there are having (and that IS NOT a pointed comment at anybody at all) the toddler terrors happen to EVERYONE.

I started out with all the best intentions as well, but that was before I had any idea just what the "job" entails.

I have got a fairly good idea who you are, and I don't know you personally, but you always have sage, honest advice, and all I can say to you is chin up, someday, it will get better, please know there are lots of people out there who care about you. I don't have any advice or answers, cos I'm not that flash of a mother myself at the moment, but I just take each day as it comes and sometimes, I just let them do whatever and leave them to it and sit on here, reading and drinking tea till the urge to kill passes over.

Not alot of advice there, really, but more just a "hey I feel like thats me too sometimes".

Big hugs.

I'm sure this wasn't spose to turn into a sh*t slinging match!!

Anobody- I am not preg with two little ones so I don't know the extent of your tiredness (I got to 12wks & that was hard enough).  I have had and still do have days/weeks that sound similar to what your explaining.  I have got close to smacking my eldest while in a raging temper .... & then saw the absolute terror in her eyes - this made me unbeliveably sad and guilty.  It took me a while longer but did seek the help from my gp and have been on medication for a few months and things are getting better but nothing is ever perfect.  If it was there would be nothing to learn.

We (my brother and sister & I) were smacked as disapline, no never hurt us but I do remember the fear of doing something wrong and getting caught so try not to carry that trait on to my children although sometimes VERY hard.  I agree with a comment that nikki made "is it life threatening" I try hard to pick my battles - ones that will matter down the track.  My girls are at the moment running around our section 1/2 naked - in the rain and in the back of my head I can hear mum and what she would be saying (yelling)at us. But at the moment they are happy and its not doing them any harm, so I will let them be and have 5mins to myself on here.

I took Ashlyn to kindy this year in her pj's, she didn't want to change & I couldn't be bothered with WWIII over pj's and she went to kindy happy - and the supportive comments that I got from the teachers "for letting her do that" were real ego boosters &  made me realise that in the big scheam of things it was a little tiny nothing.  (mums reaction on the other hand was a little different but then its  different generations and different ways of dealing with things).

I'm sorry for the long post but just want to let you know you are not alone in the "bad mummies club"

I am happy to talk on the phone if you would like someone to listen, its sometimes eaiser to vent to someone you don't "know" feel free to pm me or you can get my email from profile.  Take care and love yourself first then it will be eaiser to love your babies

RachandJack wrote: BS while you may know anobody you don't know Kylahsmum so leave her alone. At least she looks after her own kid

I'm sorry but this was totally un called for and its these sort of comments about people putting their children into daycare that drive me  .

Anobody, I have days like that with Andrew so I totally know where you are coming from. Hope you have had a better few days over the weekend.

Come on guy's this is a nice happy place to be where we can find support and not give each other a hard time. Clearly some people konw who this person is so can give and offer support IRL. So please don't ruin it for everyone else who loves' the the nice light hearted support with some very sound advice mixed in. We are all not perfect and todder's are hard work the the nicest if them so lets give each other a break yae its been a very long year for alot of us.

BellaBabysMum wrote: Maybe she just wanted somewhere to vent without people criticising who she is.

Totally agree with that... Sometimes people don't need a lecture, or someone ringing CYFS, just a vent..

Bet she's glad she used a different nickname anyway.

Hey one thing I do do when the urge to bash almost overwhelms me, is something Rod told me a long time ago. Hang on to those "gosh he's cute" moments, becasue when times get tough you will need to think about them to get through. And thats true...

oh, and I don't bash my kids, for the record, it was just a turn of phrase.

milf wrote: there is a difference between yelling "I CANT BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!!! GO TO YOUR ROOM! and YOU ARE SO FRIGGING STUPID! I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU

Exactly! Maya often gets "GO BACK TO BED AND STAY THERE!" or "UGH, WILL YOU JUST STOP ARGUING AND DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!" but even in anger I would never make it personal. I firmly believe you discipline the behaviour not the child.

As for this thread getting out of hand, I think I'm going to lock it here. It's not an appropriate place or manner to address the WAHM/SAHM debate, or to speculate over who is a better parent than who and why, and it's gotten less than constructive, however there has been some good discussion and good debate as well so thanks to those of you who kept it civil.

Night all!

Edited by Maya