Greiving Breastfeeding?

well ithink the baby friendy thing in hospitals is not baby fridely at all i was made to feel a failer as a mother and being a frist time mum like i was a wuss for giving up b/feeding i dont think this baby friendly in the hospital is helping for more mothers to b/feed at all but it is making mothers feel guilty about feeding there babys the way they want/have too if they who ever they are want more mothers to b/feed then it should,nt be shoved down there throths or the mothers be made to feel gulity about the way they feed there child iuf your baby is happy healthy and growing well then thats all that matters when i decied to bottle feed james it was not a easy way out or a easy option for me

Well with Alan I feed fully till he was 5 week's then introduced a bottle unfortunality this ended up causeing us all sort's of trouble with constpation(SP?). So this time round I was determined to fully feed Mikey how ever I have now started to wean him to a bottle not cause I have a supply problem or anyting like that we have had really no trouble feeding however like you Liz I feel like I am feeding alot and poor Alan is really missing out. I think I have done so well so far and if I choose to give it up that is my choice. However Rach I agree with you BF mother's get a hard wrap too from ff Mother's who like to make you feel bad cause apparently we have it easy. So I have been on both side's and to be honest the guilt is often how we are feeling not nessarlly what people have put on us in most case's people are pretty good and supportive. At the end of the day no matter how we are feeding our baby we still love them.

My cousin struggled to b/f her first baby even tho she had decided beforehand that b/f wasn't for her the hospital put so much pressure on and she ended up a nervous wreck and bubs was on a bottle by the end of week two anyway.

With her second she had the confidence to stand up for herself and basically told the hospital to stick it and put him on a bottle from day one.

I think the enormous pressure to b/f is sad, especially given how little support there is in hospital to get b/f properly established. When I had mastitis I wasn't allowed home until I could feed properly off the infected side, because of total lack of help from the hospital m/wes it ended up taking 9 days, when if someone had made the effort to help me I oculd have been home 3 or 4 days earlier.

I have to say, my midwife was an absolute doll about breastfeeding. She always said, whatever suits the family, is what is best. No baby ever died from being bottle fed! She really helped. I didn't have much in the way of people making me feel bad - it was the pressure I put on myself SUPERMUM!!!

I will say first of all that overall the midwives at North Shore were really great!!

That said I was not shown how to put the nipple shield on properly which was what contributed towards a lot of problems. The first time I used it a midwife just plunked it on my breast so I had no clue what to really do with it! I didn't know to wet it to put it on...I didn't know to make sure it was centred...or that there should be no raised bits or bits not firmly down on the breast.

Maddie ended up sucking on the wrong part of the breast just short of the actual nipple and I didn't realise until she was done. By the end I had what amounted to a love bite (as they called it) but there was white pus looking stuff having been sucked out and it was cracked and bleeding.

In addition I didn't realised that her bobbing up and down on the shield was further causing more cracking and one of the midwives even commented that she noticed it but she never said anything at the time!

My point being (and there is one in this long rant) is that there doesn't seem to be a lot of help in getting breastfeeding established which did surprise me. I would love to see a lactation consultant automatically come around and sit with you and help you get it right, not just a midwife manipulating your nipple until you want to scream and then slapping the baby on and you learning nothing!

I must say that like Becks - i too thought i'd jsut figure it out with Paris and didn't ask for help - themidwife would come round, the plunketnurse would come round and they'd ask how bf was going and i'd say GOOOD! ()
but i made the effort second time to go to the breastfeeding talks up at palmy hospital at 10 am, talked to the lactation consultant that takes the session, told her about the problems i had the first time and she came and checked with me a couple of times before i left the hospital to make sure i didn't have any bad habits lol and wasn't having probs.

I did get to 6 weeks with Ayja and have the same happen as with Paris.. and got reallllly upset about it all - so began the screaming baby , stopping feeding just as i let down, didn't want to go back on, til i talked with another lady on the treasures site i think and they told me they'd had the same - and found that while they had had a few probs early on.. once it got to 6 weeks, after the big growth spurt, and the milk supply increased.. the probs began just like me.

The reason?   having built the supply up so much, the baby would end up choking with the let-down of milk, because it was so forcefull that it was too much all at once and high pressure, so they learn to stop feeding once they feel that start - hence mum is left with screaming baby, milk going EVERYWHERE!!! (and not enough hands) so i began keeping a towel with me, when ayja did this i would just stick the towl over for maybe 30 secs to a min or so, till the initial force had died down.. and she would go back on like a dream and feed well.

If that helps anyone, then good, cos man i was baffled as to why i had 6 weeks of good feeding then it all went to crappers.

Hmmmm.... that's a great idea, Becks!  Lord knows when I'll actually be at the hospital - some time this week, eh.  It's sad to hear how so many women are made to feel bad about bottle-feeding.  If a baby needs food, doesn't a good mum feed the baby?!?  It's just logical to feed using option B if option A isn't working out! 

I think the whole baby-friendly hospitals, promoting breastfeeding stuff is fine - BUT they've left out the most important parts, so it just leaves women struggling.  What's the point in promoting breastfeeding if you don't give mum's the time to learn it and get it established before they're out on their own?  2 nights in hospital doesn't even give time for your milk to come in, let alone to get the hang of breastfeeding - it's just cruel to think that unless there are added complications that a woman and newborn are fine to fend for themselves a couple of days after giving birth!  Craziness. 

I actually totally agree with what you are saying Rachel (and not about people on here either ).