what made you decide to have #2?

caitlynsmygirl, friend of mine has done this. Her girl is Caitlyn too will be 8yrs this month, she was on her own with her after her husband left when she was 6 months old, she and has since met a lovely guy been together 5 years and now have a 6 month old daughter. The girls get on really well, with the older one being a wonderful nurse maid for mum. Don't give up it will happen.

thanks guys, that helps, I really want caitlyn to have a brother or sister (well she'd prefer sister lol) one day, and wasnt sure if it was mean that shed be so much older, cos people always go on (not you guys) about small gaps etc.
Man i want another baby tho, should push DP into an engagement lol, sigh,dont think he'll be proposing for quite some time tho....

my2angels wrote: i wanted two children and i wanted them to be reasonably close in age. My sister has two and they are 5 years apart and can be a nightmare and I knew i didnt want my children to have that sort of relationship. After Kobe i thought maybe i dont actually want anymore because i had the whole, how can i love another as much as kobe, how will kobe feel guilt thing happening but Im so happy i did go for number 2 because they are becoming great playmates already.

Just wanted to give a different perspective on this  My 2 are 5 years apart, not planned that way but it took us 2 years to get Leo and they are fantastic together!  There has been no jealousy, Z is old enough not to sit on him or be too rough lol & is very protective of his little brother and L ADORES his big brother!  Z had also started school when L arrived so I got lots of one on one time with L.  I think you can make any age gap work for you, there will be 21 months between L and bubs and it is going to be pretty interesting!! 

 Best of luck with your decision Toni!!

Fiona I still have my moments of doubt, especially when I'm in my third trimester. My first baby actually was really easy, it's my second baby that's been tough (silent reflux AND strong personality). I find I don't get clucky until the exhaustion lifts - exhaustion is no fun How much support have you got? Do you know any friends with (slightly) older kids who can come around and offer some advice for Elle?

Being pg is exhausting on it's own so it's hard to be pg and have a toddler care for - although it is nice that they are usually still having day sleeps. I dunno, I kinda think that Elle needs to somehow learn that she can't always have what she wants or your attention, on account of grizzling, before another baby enters the scene. Not that she may ever fully 'get' that, but if that kind of training doesn't start until after the next baby comes along (and IMO it will have to by then) then there could be some big rivalry/dethronement issues.

It's never an easy decision to make. My DH and I have often talked about having 6 but in reality it comes down to "okay I think we're ready for one more" and if exhaustion gets the better of me, I'll gladly stop before 6. On the other hand, if cluckiness gets the better of me, I have no idea how many we'll have

Fiona concentrate on the most wonderful part and remember that by #2 you have a bit more knowledge under your belt and can prepare a bit better.

As you know we were only thinking of having one, but I grew up by myself (my bro and sis are 11 and 13 years older than me). I dont remember them living at home with us, so feel like an only child and dont have a close relationship with my siblings, like they do. Deep down I knew I wanted another one and in lots of ways I think it will be good for Hannah to have a sibling. Two is it tho as I really dont want to be pregnant again, and DH (eldest of 4) tells such heartbreaking stories of having not much money when they were growing up, we have decided to just have two and financially have them grow up better off than he did (not in a spoilt way tho!).

Good luck with your decisions again Toni. TBH it sounds like you both really do want another, but on the other hand only children dont necessarily turn out spoilt, self-centred etc.

We never wanted to have two kids, but with having PND after Sophie we decided to have at least a 2 year gap as we had heard this was best.  We are not going to have any more but this has been deterimed by circumstance rather than choice.

For us we have always said we would like 2.

Right now as you know I could not have another, both for my sake but also for Tyrell.
Down the track we will have another 1, but all my time, energy, $, EVERYTHING is for Tyrell. My time with him is so precious that I don't want to take away from it.

I always said 2 years would be a nice gap, but now I feel another year is in order to get our wee man happy.

I feel everyone is different and every pregnancy and every child is different. Your time will come when you are ready.

yummymummy wrote: fleury wrote: My DF is an only child and he can be a bit self-centered at times, impatient and doesn't like sharing. Reason we will have 2. I'm an only child too - and I too (sometimes) fit the criteria above. Surely there's nothing wrong with being a (little) self-centered, impatient and not sharing We are going for 3 though - I kind of miss not having a brother/sister

Ummm... Well, I have 2 brothers and am the youngest and only girl. I too can be self-centred, impatient and not sharing at times so there goes that theory of it being just only children