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Babe View Drop Down
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Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 October 2009 at 9:50am
Stace I'm so sorry!!

I don't think its wrong if you don't go in to see him though I do think being at the hospital might make things easier afterwards? Will your family be offended with you if you don't show up at all? That would be my biggest concern for you - if your family decides to make things difficult for you because you didn't go up to the hospital (even if you don't go see your grandad).
I personally would rather see a family member before they passed than afterwards but thats a personal preference because I hate coffins and the coldness and I, like summerlamb, discovered my grandmas body when I was a kid.

Anyway whatever you decide I'm thinking of you and I hope he passes easily
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sweetpea View Drop Down
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Joined: 14 July 2008
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Points: 1155 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sweetpea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 October 2009 at 12:03pm
Stacey, really sorry for the postion that you and your family are in. I hope for all of your sakes that the wait isn't a long one. I can totally undersatnd where you are comming from and no there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do.

As long as you are happy with your decision then thats fine screw what everyone else thinks.
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Points: 3600 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GuestGuest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 October 2009 at 12:45pm
It's a really personal decision and not one that anyone else can make for you. But for me it would depend on whether he was coherent or not. If he was coherent I would want to go to let him know that I was there for him. If not, then I would only be going for myself and the rest of my family which is probably something that I would choose not to do. As you say, it is nicer to remember them in happier times.
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Chickaboo View Drop Down
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Points: 9471 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chickaboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 October 2009 at 1:30pm
Stacey sorry missed this post yesterday so *hugs* for today and yesterday.

How is he doing now?

No one should judge you on not going in to see your grandad but as someone suggested you could go up there to support your mum and family just not go in the room.

My friend when her mum was dying did not go in the room when it was towards the end and no one has ever judged her for that.


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Rachael21 View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
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Points: 4700 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 October 2009 at 1:39pm
I'm really sorry you and your family have to go through this Stacey

I haven't really read all the replies, but I think you need to do what you feel is right in your heart
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jazzy View Drop Down
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Points: 8858 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jazzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 October 2009 at 2:56pm
Stacey, so sorry to hear that big

I have not read the replies, but you should do what you think best for you.

This is a time to support family & get support, I take it it is your mums dad & I can understand why she want you there, for support for her & for you to say goodbye. She has probably been in this position before & saying goodbye to a loved one has helped.It also helps with the grief process.

Bad memories fade, death, funerals they all fade to a acceptable state, but the love & fun shared never does.

We don't always get a chance to say goodbye.

Best wishers to you & your family at this sad time.
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