Need to have a grrrr!

Argh, my ILs are driving me mental at the moment. I dont like that my MIL just keeps turning up without ringing first and that she doesnt seem to respect how I do things with Greer.

She turned up at 5.30pm the other day wanting photos. She knows that we have dinner at 5.30 and that both girls are in bed by 6.30, so its the busiest time of the day for us. So far, Greer has had a feed before dinner, then she would lie happily awake on the mat while we ate and then she'd have another feed and of to bed. Everything runs smoothly and she sleeps well cos she has a good awake time then. But MIL insists on giving her cuddles and she goes to sleep. I was very brave and stuck up for myself the other day and when she started drifting off I said I wanted her put back down, and she reluctantly did.

A few days after we came home (actually was my grumpy baby blues day) she turned up with heaps of her family and just took Greer off me so everyone else could have cuddles and again, off to sleep she drifts. Then they sat around here for over an hour talking between theselves, while my brother and his family were also here (I hardly ever see them so didnt get to have a proper visit).

Then tonight they all turn up again at 5.30 and Greer was having a bit of a cry and she gets taken off me "so you can eat your tea in peace and Grandad hasnt had a cuddle yet" and then she goes to sleep again, even tho I said she had to stay awake. So she went to bed without her usual later feed so I will probably up an extra time tonight - Grrrrr! And there were little comments about beingn mean keeping her awake (even tho she'd only just got up) and mean cos she couldnt suck her fingers with her scratch mittens on (cos she is scratching her face).

I am having a lot of trouble giving Greer up for cuddles, and it bothers me that some people feel its their right. Usually if people come to visit and shes up if I dont feel like passing her around I just dont offer or stay on the floor with her if shes happy.

Probably seems like a little thing, but it is seriously driving me mental And I have been feeling absolutely fine (hormonally!!) as well. Argh and now DH just looked over my shoulder!

Hugs Aimee!!! We're always here for you to vent - that would p#ss me off too!!

How annoying and frustrating! hugs..I agree maybe get your DH to talk to his mum?

PS love the name Greer

HUGS Aimee, I totally understand where you're coming from. The new baby buzz can bring out the worst in some people.

aimeejoy wrote: I am having a lot of trouble giving Greer up for cuddles, and it bothers me that some people feel its their right. Usually if people come to visit and shes up if I dont feel like passing her around I just dont offer or stay on the floor with her if shes happy.

I had the exact same thing with DD when she was born, I really hated that everyone assumed that I wanted to pass her around all the time and have everyone cuddle her. I felt really selfish and guilty for wanting to hold her myself or let DH just hold her, or even just leave her on the floor/in the bassinette. And then I felt angry that they were making me feel that way (although it wasn't their fault I felt guilty).
I hated it even more when MIL would hold her and hand her back, because her perfume is really strong and would always linger on DD for hours afterwards - I got the point where I changed her clothes after they visited! So I know how you feel.
I've made up my mind this time that if I feel that way again with #2 arrives, I'm just going to forget the guilt and be selfish and enjoy it. They are our little bubbas and we've worked darn hard for 9 months and then the birth and I think we're allowed to be a bit selfish if we want!

Edited to make the first sentence make sense.

Edited by Mazzy

Hugs Aimee your MIL sounds exactly like how mine was when James was little it's not nice is it take care and good on you for sticking up for yourself.

Thanks so much everyone, you've made me feel lots better. And yeah, DH knows how I feel, but I dont like bitching to him about it all the time, so this is the perfect place!

Mazzy, that is exactly how I feel with the selfish/guilty feelings. I made a vow to stick up for myself this time, and I have a little bit but need to get better.

aimeejoy wrote: Mazzy, that is exactly how I feel with the selfish/guilty feelings. I made a vow to stick up for myself this time, and I have a little bit but need to get better.

Yes - I say *now* that I'm going to be tougher about it, but wait for the actual event and I bet I'll be posting something very similar to what you have here.
One thing that I found worked sometimes was putting DD in the sling/front pack when I knew 'certain people' were coming over (or when they first arrived for one of those unexpected visits). It's a lot harder for them to take her off you when she's in one of those. But then I had to put up with the comments from MIL about the sling and how it was 'so ethnic'
can you tell I still have a few unresolved issues about MIL from when DD was young
Hope all the visits settle down soon, it's such a hard time when you're settling in to a new family routine and people think it's an open house. Even harder when it's close family who don't think about things, because it is much more personal when you bring it up with them.