Newly single mama

Hugs to you chickie. Not much to add, as I am almost at this stge myself, however what gets me though is thinking it is the best thing I can do for my kids and my mental health. I hope you can find some happiness.

I am married now, but I was a single mum for 9 years before that.
My two biggest pieces of advise are...
* dont become a victom! Just because you are a single mum, doesn't mean you can't offer your family just as much as any one else. I shifted to another city, lived on the bones of my bum while studying and came out with the highest marks in my class even though the college doubted I would cope.   Try not to wallow in self-pity (its easy to do at times). People will give you funny looks, attitude, and tell you you 'can't' do stuff just because you are a single mum....rise above all this....and remember they don't know you, or your position....and you can bet your bottom dollar they haven't been in your posistion so they don't know the amount of courage and strength it takes to be a single mum.

* dont 'bag' your babies father. As tempting as it is, its not worth it to stoop to that level. They will always be their father so there is nothing positive by getting into sl*gging matches. It is extreemly hard to bite your tongue when your kids come saying "dad said you take all his money" or some other crap like that. Eventually they will see the error of both your ways.

Keep your chin up...there are worse things that have happened in this world.... You have your health, you have your life.....now time to get on and start living :-)

All the best! It takes a strong person to change their circumstances when you have so much at stake!

joshierocks wrote: And Jo...... I'm on to you.... but, ok

 

nah nah nah nah nah Mel - she's mine!

JD wrote: * dont 'bag' your babies father. As tempting as it is, its not worth it to stoop to that level. They will always be their father so there is nothing positive by getting into sl*gging matches. It is extreemly hard to bite your tongue when your kids come saying "dad said you take all his money" or some other crap like that. Eventually they will see the error of both your ways. !

I so agree with this statement I have never said a bad naming calling word about Ex with the kids present. Afterall it is who they are aswell. They learnt in time on their own so thats how I won

lizzle wrote: just to add to that - as the child of divorced parents, hearing mum bag out dad always made me feel so bad - especially with comments like "Oh, you are just like your father"

I totally agree with this too. It was really awful to be stuck in the middle, each parent sl*gging off the other. I'll never shake that 'torn' feeling! No advice, but big hugs. With loads of support, you'll do just fine, even if you feel like you're not!