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Brabsie 
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Joined: 05 May 2008
Location: Auckland
Points: 137
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 Posted: 26 April 2009 at 4:48pm |
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I also had an internal tear and had internal stitches, which definitely made sex pretty sore originally. But now it is ok. So as long as Dr thinks you are ok, I think just stick at it and it will come right! Definitely not quite the same as before though as all a bit stretched etc!! Ugh! DH and I have had it quite a bit since DS was born - although not as often as Babe!! And I agree it gets better the more you have it and you want it more - so stick at it!!
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Genie
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Joined: 01 May 2008
Location: Nelson
Points: 688
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Posted: 26 April 2009 at 10:06pm |
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Hmm I'm in the just can't be bothered camp..would rather sleep! lol
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Niecey
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Joined: 24 April 2009
Location: Auckland, NZ
Points: 159
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Posted: 26 April 2009 at 10:34pm |
you're not in the boat alone....still haven't done it...kinda bitter with my husband as I feel he's not doing enough around here.  He is super busy with his work so I guess I can't completely blame him but hey--at least he can "come home" from work. My work is 24/7 and I don't get weekends! Have not much libido either...I hope I can get back into it...don't think it'll be much longer. Grrr...it's kinda frustrating.
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Denise
 
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Genie
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Joined: 01 May 2008
Location: Nelson
Points: 688
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Posted: 26 April 2009 at 10:39pm |
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TBH I'm a bit the same re dh..he spends time with his mates while I do all the indoor chores then expects to come in and I'll want to get it on..I don't think so buddy boy!! I want some 'me' time first!
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rachelsea
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Joined: 16 February 2008
Location: Lower Hutt
Points: 3797
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Posted: 27 April 2009 at 12:13pm |
So glad this got posted hehe, I'm not the only one! I was begging for it by 6 weeks but we couldn't as I hadn't finished bleeding yet  then when *that* finally finished a week later I started feeling really nervous about it, because I didn't know what it would feel like (and i didn't tear at all!) but we did do it. And haven't done it since lol. I was keen last night, but DH was a bit too eager, LOL  Good to know it's normal though 
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DD 4yrs DS 2yrs 
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Niecey
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Joined: 24 April 2009
Location: Auckland, NZ
Points: 159
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Posted: 27 April 2009 at 2:53pm |
I feel like whenever he wants to..I am SOOO not in the mood and whenever I'm the slightest bit interested he is nowhere to be found! or sleeping away! kind of annoying
Genie-- that's not fair, is it? Wish we could leave them all day with the kid and get out and then maybe we'd wanna pounce them when we get home!! If only we could turn the tables! Too bad I'm bf at the mo...but don't really wanna give that up.
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Denise
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Natalie_G
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Joined: 09 June 2008
Location: North Shore
Points: 1638
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Posted: 27 April 2009 at 8:07pm |
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I have heard it is very normal not to have sex all the time or barely at all after having a baby....a friend of mine didnt feel like sex for 6 months after her baby.
Babe - LOL 3 times a day my DH wishes lol.
About 4 times a week does it for me hehe.
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gypsynita
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Joined: 01 March 2008
Location: Hamilton
Points: 1265
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Posted: 28 April 2009 at 9:02am |
 Niecey wrote:
I feel like whenever he wants to..I am SOOO not in the mood and whenever I'm the slightest bit interested he is nowhere to be found! or sleeping away! kind of annoying
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... or the baby's awake!! Cian seems to "know" when we're in the mood and almost always wakes up! 
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Anita
Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10)
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Moochiecat
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Joined: 17 August 2008
Points: 52
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Posted: 28 April 2009 at 4:57pm |
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Hi - this may be too much info - but have you thought of 'toys' to start you off with. Sometimes getting yourself 'there' first makes it easier to get into. Now that things have changed in your relationship and you've been without sex for a while, it might be an great time to introduce something new.
I always find I'm way more into sex for my DH looks after my needs first and toys eliminate all the mucking about - they just straight to it.
Sorry - I know TMI - but it may be of help.
Good luck.
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Ang84
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Joined: 29 April 2009
Points: 11
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Posted: 29 April 2009 at 10:37am |
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You are not alone!! It seems to be one of those things that improve with time (and plenty of practice).
I had a bad tear downstairs as well, and of our four attempts since bub was born, only one of them could be described as "successful" (e.g. enjoyed by both parties) before I started leaking milk and got all upset about it (sorry if TMI).
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Post-baby relations
