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FionaS View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:21pm
...when they don't really even know them?

I've been really frustrated lately seeing how much people, especially mothers judge one another. There is nothing more undermining to a friendship that the feeling you are being judged.

I know we all have automatic judgemental thoughts in our heads about others from time to time but why do we act on them and gossip / draw conclusions about others when we don't even have full information?

What ever happened to "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" & supporting one another? Why do we have to squash others down so much?

Sorry - just a rant but it is so sad and annoying! Does it bother you too?
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Glow View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:29pm
Meh- to hell with gossip & judgement

To avoid it..
be nothing, say nothing, do nothing!!

Obviously their lives are VERY VERY boring


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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:29pm
yep it borthers me to but people do it to make themselfs feel better about there seleves
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:34pm
*feeling very guilty now*
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:35pm
Not you Emma!!! LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:36pm
I know, but it's me that made you feel bad
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:41pm
Na, it's been something that has been bugging me for a while, just a general observation.
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my2angels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my2angels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:51pm
Im lost, again obviously something I havent seen but anyway I agree and hope its not me that you have in mind!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:59pm
my2angels i dont think its specifically board related...

its human nature tho fiona...what i hate more tho is mums who compare kids in front of the kids...ggrrr

but yeah i sometimes wonder what is being said about me behind my back...

you have to be the duck tho - and let it all slide off like water from a ducks back!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:09pm
Originally posted by GandT GandT wrote:

but yeah i sometimes wonder what is being said about me behind my back...


We all talk about how lovely and not-grumpy you are
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:10pm
my2angels....it's definately not about anything on Oh! Baby or about any one situation or person...it is a general observation :)

I can deal with it aimed at me (kind of) but don't like seeing it happen to others, especially when they are struggling and in need of support.

Definately just a general, non-specific rant.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:24pm
Some people get more schitt thrown at them through life than others.
Some people are rumour spreaders & jealous
Some people have more in life than others...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:37pm
I have tried not to judge - after being really judgemental pre-kids "MY child won't watch that much tv" "MY child won't scream like that in a supermarket" "Oh my gosh, she's given her child a lollipop - MY child won't eat lollipops - they'll only eat fruit and like it". now when i see mums in the supermarket with three kids who are screaming "we want..." and she hands them it and says "HERE!!!", i smile sympathetically.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:38pm
Originally posted by Maya Maya wrote:

Originally posted by GandT GandT wrote:

but yeah i sometimes wonder what is being said about me behind my back...


We all talk about how lovely and not-grumpy you are


yeah now i know you aint telling the truth.. cheeky!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote meow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:39pm
Yeah I've seen it too, and have experienced it. I have found alot of older mums tend to judge because they seem to think they know it all.

I've grown some tough skin over the past few years so I can take it now.. if someone wants to gossip about me then fine, it's them that has the problem

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote meow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:41pm
Originally posted by lizzle lizzle wrote:

I have tried not to judge - after being really judgemental pre-kids "MY child won't watch that much tv" "MY child won't scream like that in a supermarket" "Oh my gosh, she's given her child a lollipop - MY child won't eat lollipops - they'll only eat fruit and like it". now when i see mums in the supermarket with three kids who are screaming "we want..." and she hands them it and says "HERE!!!", i smile sympathetically.


I smile at mums now too, and usually say something like "we get that here too" and they'll usually reply.. I just hope I'm helping by letting them know they're not alone.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:42pm
Originally posted by lizzle lizzle wrote:

I have tried not to judge - after being really judgemental pre-kids "MY child won't watch that much tv" "MY child won't scream like that in a supermarket" "Oh my gosh, she's given her child a lollipop - MY child won't eat lollipops - they'll only eat fruit and like it". now when i see mums in the supermarket with three kids who are screaming "we want..." and she hands them it and says "HERE!!!", i smile sympathetically.



uhuh! Now i realise how naive i was before the kids...but i still say things like "when my kids are older they wont do that".

i think at some stage we all judge other mums but generally it is ones we dont know but see briefly like in the supermarket etc. What i hate is when people act like they are your friends but in fact their words to others tell a very different story!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:50pm
I do understand that having judgemental thoughts is a natural part of human nature but focussing on them and discussing them with others just leads to an overall sense of negativity.

BTW, I am definately not suggesting that I am free from judgemental thoughts and words...I just wish it wasn't something that is so common.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cuppatea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 4:30pm
Cos they have nothing else better to do with their time.
I'm not sure whether it is just cos I am more sensitive since having a baby but I do find mums extremely judgemental. Like you said before it seems that instead of supporting each other we are judging each other.

I also get really annoyed when people talk behind others backs. I had a boss who would sl*g off everyone to me and all I use to think is what is he saying about me to everyone? I'm sure one day he will be sl*gging someone off and then realise that that person is the one he is talking to!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 4:40pm
Originally posted by GandT GandT wrote:

[uhuh! Now i realise how naive i was before the kids...but i still say things like "when my kids are older they wont do that".


The best parents in the world are the ones that don't have any kids!!!

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