what to do

thats a tough one, but in the end you have to do what is right for you and your family. Is there no one else in the family who can take Hemi?

I think you have to weigh up all the pros and cons of taking Hemi and not taking Hemi and go from there.

best of luck with whatever decision you make and remember whatever decision it is, is the right one for you

That seems like alot of pressure to be put under Lu!

I think after years of putting your needs and wants after others maybe its time to put them 1st. I know how much you love Hemi, but you need to do what is right for you!

Can your Mum and Dad help share the load, so Hemi is not all YOUR responsibility. If they can then maybe its all do-able.

Big hugs Lu and good luck with your decision, which I know won't be any easy one for you.

ETA: just an after thought, you say they want you to take on hemi so your sis can get herself into a better position, but isn't that what you are doing as well, by going to T-Col.......maybe its time to put yourself 1st!!!!
p.s we have to catch up soon!!

Edited by hailstones

I think you have to put yourself first. It sounds like you really love your nephew but if you put your own plans on hold for him and your family then you may end up resenting both him and them - better to say no and get any unpleasantness over with. If you say yes then who knows how long you could have him for...

Seems like a big ask to me. Why can't she take care of him herself? Other people seem to manage it and still sort their lives out, why can't she?

similar situation for me a while ago as im decided to go back to uni this year but i used to look after my sisters kids so she could go to work cos she wasnt coping well at home and couldnt afford day care. i ended up telling her i needed to do my own thing. she is still a stress case bout putting her babies in other care and having to change her hours but my baby is due in 3 months, uni starts in 1 and i needed to put my family first. dont let yourself get guilted into putting your life on hold again. studying is hard work and someone elses child is always way harder to find time for and look after properly when your stressed. look after your family first. its not your fault your sister cant do it herself. i think if forced too, she'd find a way, everyone else does

Go ahead and do what you were planning on doing this year because to be honest hun life is far too short.

caitlynsmygirl wrote: putting it really bluntly . Dont let your life wait for other people .

i agree.

but i'm in a similar situation so i understand how hard it is, especially when it's your beloved family that you'll do almost anything for

I don't know the situation, but unless your sis is going away to get help or something I don't think taking Hemi away from her is really the best thing. She might realise she loves no responsibilities. As others said I think you should offer to help her out but she still needs to be the main caregiver for Hemi and you need to get on with your life too. If its only a month or so you might be able to juggle it but thats not fair to ask you to take him on. She chose to have him so hes her responsibility.

Does Hemi go to daycare? If shes having issues or is going to study or something she may be entitled to 50 hours childcare subsidy, which makes it almost free depending on the place.