10 things no one tells you about being a parent
We love our kids to bits but there’s no denying they're the gateway to a life less stylish. Here are some of the lesser known outcomes of raising kids:
🍪 1. You’ll gain five kilos from eating leftover fish fingers and the Goody Gumdrop ice-cream in the freezer that you bought for the kids.
🍪 2. You’ll develop nasty eating habits, such as swallowing tuna out of a can at the kitchen sink for lunch and eating really fast at the dinner table so you can spoon-feed little Jimmy who’s gone on a hunger strike.
🍪 3. The backseat of the car will forever be a bird’s nest of colouring-in books, ice-cream wrappers, toy cars and glitter. After a while it will start to smell a little.
🍪 4. World disaster news will pass you by but you’ll become an expert on Toy Story 1, 2 and 3. You’ll also know all the words to “Wheels on the Bus” and, if you’re unlucky, “I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie World…”
🍪 5. You’ll develop a whole new range of aches and pains from lifting a three-year-old in and out of the car, having wrestling matches before bed and from being kicked “accidentally” by your toddler.
🍪 6. You’ll have to replace most of your jewellery after little ones chewed on your necklaces and played with your bracelets.
🍪 7. After declaring your Smart Phone and iPad out of bounds you’ll inevitably give in to constant whining with disastrous results. Your insurance company will turn down your claim for a replacement iPad.
🍪 8. Nine times out of 10 you’ll head out to a party/work/ coffee catch-up with your smart frock streaked with toothpaste.
🍪 9. You'll find yourself seeking out strange hiding places for your stashes of chocolate - the king-size blocks you consume when the kids are in bed.
🍪 10. But cheer up, it’s not all bad. After a while, very little will embarrass you. A puddle of wee on the floor at the mall? Just pull out your wet wipes, clean it up and carry on.