The other day I wrote about how my past hurts came back to haunt my present marriage.
One great thing about good therapy (or decent coaching) is that it can help you see where your yesterday might be impacting your today.
If you’re an Attachment Parent, you’ve already subscribed to the idea that the bond that you’re forming with your child matters. You’ve chosen a parenting style that says it’s a good thing to let your child know that their voice is heard and that their needs matter to you. Your goal, above almost everything, is to make sure your child is Securely Attached to you.
But some of us weren’t blessed with families that placed much importance on protecting that bond. Some of us were raised in homes that taught us some not so healthy things about how to love or accept love from one another. And because we learned these lessons at such a young age, when our minds were so impressionable, it can be hard to unlearn them when we start our adult relationships. Even worse, we can accidentally pass them on to our children, trapping us in a sort of generation curse.
It’s hard to see where our past wounds and triggers are without the help of an outsider. It’s hard because to us this is normal, it’s all we’ve known. It’s also tricky because we hear words like “wound” and think, “My family was weird, but I wouldn’t call it a wound, per se.”
Our wounds might not be very dramatic. We might have really great relationships with our families. But that doesn’t mean we won’t still have wounds. Because wounds are simply part of being human. Wounds make us human and give us the ability to be empathetic and compassionate. Taking time to acknowledge and respect the wounds from your past could be the first step in finding healing.
To help get you started here are 10 common wounds that might still hurt:
Everyone has wounds. Why not start healing yours (and your spouse’s) today?