Meet the family living in complete harmony

Identity and connection to heritage is paramount for this musical duo, whose synergistic relationship drives both their professional and family lives.

words: Lucy Slight

Photography: These Are The Golden Days

Before becoming parents, Charles (Te Rarawa, Ngaapuhi, Ngaati Te Ata Waiohua, Ngaati Mutunga) and Emily Looker spent the best part of two years living out of a van, travelling around Aotearoa booking gigs, writing their debut album, and exploring their own backyard – guided by the people they met along the way.

But having two tamariki in tow these days hasn’t stopped the husband-and-wife duo, who now perform their highly acclaimed original music under their band name Aro. In fact, the pair are back to van life (albeit a bigger one) in 2025, with Olive, four, and 11-month-old Teaumarino, forming part of the crew.

“It would be impossible without the support of our whānau, or just the openness from festival organisers to find a way to make it work,” says Emily, who performs vocals while also managing the band’s schedule. “Rather than leaving the kids with the grandparents for a weekend... we’d rather just bring them along for the ride.”

Emily and Charles met while studying music at Auckland University in the early 2010s. Their love story began with a long-distance relationship when Emily, a singer-songwriter, moved to Germany to pursue music. Despite the one-way ticket, their bond grew stronger, and five months after Emily’s return home, the pair were engaged and then married within a year of reuniting.

Charles was in his first year of studying to become a Te Reo Māori teacher, and in his second year the pair began making plans to tour Aro around New Zealand while living a nomadic lifestyle, something Emily had dreamed of since high school.

While starting a family wasn’t on the cards at this point in their relationship, Emily and Charles relished the two years they were able to spend on the road, staying with friends, whānau, and kind strangers in almost every town they played.

“In the second year, I counted only eight nights we had to spend in the van because everybody was so hospitable,” shares Charles.

In September 2019, the couple put down roots in Pukekohe, Auckland and with the first Covid-19 lockdown coming into force in March 2020, it gave Emily in particular time to pause and discover a sense of stillness that came from being in one place.

“I’m such an extrovert and love doing stuff all the time and being with people, but I loved just being at home,” she says. It was during this time, that her desire to start a family grew stronger, and their daughter Olive was born the following year, in February 2021. 

Emily reflects on her transition to motherhood with joy. "I loved everything about it. Olive was so calm in the first 10 months," she says. Charles, coming from a large family, was always ready for the challenge. "I liked the idea of contributing our portion to the community," he explains.

Both quickly found their groove in parenting, and Emily describes those newborn days as being a time where she felt at her most self-confident and beautiful.

“I felt like I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing – it’s such a natural thing,” she explains. “You have no idea what it’s going to look like, but your body just kind of does what it needs to do.”

But as Olive turned three and was joined by her brother Teaumarino early in 2024, the Looker house became filled with another kind of energy – toddler energy. Olive, whose middle name is Terangioteata, meaning ‘the sky in the morning’ is now living up to her name, says Charles.

“For Māori, they would typically wake up before the sun to determine how the day was going to go,” he explains. “She definitely lets us know how the day is going to go!”

Charles describes the transition from one to two children as “pretty chill” noting that having a roughly three year age gap means Olive is able to communicate her needs with more ease and he’s all about encouraging kōrero and giving Olive a voice.

He references an article by New Zealand anthropologist Anne Salmond who wrote about Māori parenting and the importance of acknowledging tamariki as part of the whānau, irrespective of age.

“When a child spoke in a council meeting,” he says, “they weren’t told to be quiet or to go away. They were responded to in kind, as if they were a member of the council.”

He explains that traditionally, in Māori culture, once the child was weaned, they were taught to hold onto their fathers, helping them with whatever needed to be done around the home. However, today that’s easier said than done, with both parents likely to be working either at home or away, but during the period of time when the pair was juggling a newborn and a toddler, Emily says she loved watching the relationship between Charles and Olive flourish.

“It’s such a beautiful thing, seeing the person you love become a parent and seeing a whole new side of them... and the way Charles was present with Olive during that time. I was just with baby, feeding baby, because they’re so dependent on you in the beginning, and Charles had all the time in the world to spend with Olive. It’s so nice to see parents genuinely connecting with little people.”

It’s clear that Emily and Charles have a very synergistic relationship and complementary parenting style, and at this stage in their journey, they’re working on finding a balance in their family structure to be able to give Emily time to either relax or work on her music when she needs to, while creating boundaries for Olive. “It’s about learning that it’s okay to say no and teaching our kids to understand that,” says Charles.

In the process, Emily is juggling motherhood and music, both of which are full-time roles for her. Like most mothers, finding the time to pursue interests outside of the home is a balancing act, one that requires leaning on friends and whānau .

“I find I’ve actually got to ask for the time, which I’m not used to doing,” she explains. “I’m good at juggling a million things, I’ve always been like that. But I think realising that I don’t have to juggle everything has been a good learning for me.”

During her pregnancy with Teaumarino, Emily says she was lacking in her usual creative energy, but being able to work alongside Charles both in terms of parenting and their music fostered more of a sense of flow as they collaborated on their fourth body of work together.

Titled He Rākau, He Ngārara, the award-winning bilingual album was released in April and embodies eight waiata – one of which was also a longlist finalist for the 2024 APRA Silver Scroll award – inspired by native trees, insects and reptiles. The process involved consultation with members of Charles’ iwi and hapū, as they researched mātauranga Māori (Māori knowledge) relevant to particular legends and whakatauki (proverbs) that helped to inspire each waiata.

The exploration of Māori values and cultural concepts is not only something the pair prioritises in their music, but in their home life. Olive attends a full immersion kōhanga reo and both children will attend their local kura in future. Te reo Māori was Charles’ first language, and he wants his children to grow up speaking te reo too. “Kohanga reo is also a pathway into kura kaupapa Māori,” explains Charles, referencing Te Aho Matua, the founding document of the kura kaupapa Māori education system, which speaks to the philosophies and concepts that are prioritised in the education of Māori students.

“One of those things, which is also throughout our music, is around te ira tangata, humanity, and one of them ’he tapu te tangata ahakoa ko wai’ is that a person is sacred no matter who they are, and because of who they are and where they come from. We want to provide opportunities for our kids to learn about who they are as Māori and Pākehā and what that means for them here in Aotearoa and also across the world.”  

Emily and Charles are committed in their dedication to raising their children in a loving, supportive environment while harmoniously blending their personal and professional lives. And as the honourary third and fourth members of Aro, Olive and Teaumarino will have plenty of opportunities to explore their heritage and country as mum and dad work to secure tour dates and promote He Rākau, He Ngārara around Aotearoa this summer and into the new year  

For upcoming tour dates and to learn more about Aro, visit aromusic.co.nz or follow on Instagram @aromusicao